Wednesday, September 19, 2007

A burning question quenched

yes i know the title sucks !
anyhoo after a little research have solved the turtle/tortoise dilemna
(drumroll)
its a tortoise !
will update you soon on its sex

Monday, September 17, 2007

dispatch no#1 from the ramadan feeding front

yea I have returned ye of little faith
I have passed this year of law school , huzzah!
however am now wallowing in the miseries of being born sans phallus in Ramadan, for those not in the know this entails obscene amounts of cooking/cleaning/shouting/weeping with mumikins who in Ramadan becomes a rather volatile mix of Martha Stewart &Medusa (she has a very unnerving stare) . For your amusement a list of pre ramadani doings

day before Ramadan

1-wake up at 6 , cleaning cleaning a little shouting more cleaning
1-go to Cairo university , shout a lot at incomptent employees
2-go pickup grandmother who has been conscripted as kitchen assistant
3- soothe harried grandmother who is in curlers , cooking mahshy etc and not ready to set off for the cinnamon scented furnace of doom(i.e our kitchen)
4-for some reason grandmother has decided carpets need to be washed
5- help grandmother remove all carpets in house managing to chip a vase and drop several knick knacks in the process
6- realize am clumsy oaf , most distressing
7-dust floor and move furniture back into place dropping more knick knacks
8-twiddle thumbs whilst waiting for grandmas washing machine to be done
9-help grandma hang up washing to dry
10- receive very giggly phonecall from mother , apparently the cleaning lady has fallen on top of her . she wants me to pick up samna from great aunt N
11-look for grandmothers tortoise or is it a turtle ?
12- realize that i do not not know sex or genus of grandmothers pet , most distressing
13- finally we set off !
14- in the midst of my ponderings on turtle/tortoise am peed upon by said creature
15- discover that turtle/tortoise pee is scentless and very cold
16-cannot stop laughing and forget to pick up samna till am reminded by grandma
17-am forced to turn around and pick up wretched samna ,eft as rambling hal would say
18-go to aunts to give tortoise and pick up rokak and kofta
19-turtle/tortoise has pooed in cage , turtle/tortoise poo is also scentless. has it something to do with it being herbivorous?
20- give aunt turtle/tortoise who is now somewhat distressed and quivering due to unpleasant contents of cage
21-set off for home
22- room is so tidy! oh and all my books organized so beautifully! how blissful
23-have no time to luxuriate must set off to buy neccessities
24-give very loud EFT plus several muttered curses
25- Metro is so crowded and there are no shopping trolleys ,let out volley of efts and more curses
26- am informed by surly shop assistants that there are neither chives ,coriander ,pepsi or Ricotta cheese to be had for love or money
27-ya halawa shall be flayed alive by mummyikins
28- return home , suprisingly am not flayed alive
29-discover that cleaning lady is weeping because none of her relatives have called
30 -mollify cleaning lady with our old fanous and bag of goodies ,she goes home
31-cooking , cooking shouting more cooking
32- sleeeeeeeeeeeep