The trials and tribulations of mademoiselle HH

20 things to do before turning 21

2008-11-18T03:30:00.000-08:00

yes I was busy , yes I didn't blog I'm desperately sorry ( dunno why yet again) blah blah blah I'm so tedious aren't I? ( and no that's not a cheap ploy to make you I'm not , honest :) )
anyhow I'm turning 20 today (eeeek) which is both exciting and freaky and in celebration of how odd I'm feeling at the moment I wrote this rather umm unlikely list of things I plan to do before turning 21!

1-Get Joseph Fiennes and /or Romain Duris pregnant

2-Become professional burlesque dancer

3-Acquire chocolate factory

4-Acquire purple suit , mini top-hat with a tulle veil and singing koalas to work in chocolate factory (Oompa Loompas are so passé ) ooooh and Christian Laboutin boots

5-Have a statue of myself erected in a public square

6-Have statute pulled down a la saddam Hussein while hordes of koalas scream hooray
7-Become shaabi singer and sing a duet with Sha3bola

8-Invent fat free chocolate and win Nobel prize for it

9-Acquire pirate outfit ,a foul mouthed parrot and an evil pirate gang and storm kasr el Gomhouria

10-Acquire herd of goats , lederhosen and white haired grandpappy and immigrate to the Swiss Alps and live the Heidi life (this is if all my other plans fail)

11-Rule the universe for a day ( any more than that and I’d muck things up irreversibly)

12-Become virtuoso violinist (ha-ha possibly the most impossible one)

13-Write an Opera entitled “fein el akl ya welya” starring the fatafeat ant dude

14-Buy a haunted palace (I’d love to own the Winchester house)

15-Buy my father a Harley Davidson (I’m actually serious about this one)

16-Find the reincarnation of Marlon Brando and marry him ( this is assuming he didn’t come back as a man- eating Lion or an Oak tree )

17-Be declared poet laureate of an obscure country

18-Become glamorous socialite and have Candace Bushnell write a fictionalized account of my exploits which will later be turned into a series which will star Rachel Weisz

19-Become a vegan cobbler

20-Purchase obscene amount of shoes and become renown for it kinda like Imelda Marcos

dad-ism no 1

2008-09-03T01:31:00.000-07:00

my father is an eminently quotable man, it could do with the fact he is a sort of hemingwayesque sort of fellow who is both an excellent shot ,hunter and hardcore drinker ( my father can legitimately tell stories about the time he hunted with masai tribesmen etc etc) and yet has a soft tender side , also he is a complete loon who will often suddenly start quoting Conan the barabarian or the begining part of flash gordon ( he espeacially likes the bit where emperor ming the merciless says " I like to play with things a while before annihilation” mwahahahah) (more about this later)
I think the world could benefit from the pearls of wisdom which my father very often chooses to bestow upon me (or exasperate me with) par example yesterday after fitar ,my dad always has the darkest most pungent expresso conceivable. Anyway he proffers it to me to smell then laughs and says "now thats what a real man smells like!" , "if you were ever to marry my dear ,make sure your husband smells of expresso ,cigars and whisky because only then will you know that he has a proper appreaciation for the good things in life" er right dad
Anyway expect more dad-isms tres soon!

pretty oh so pretty

2008-08-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

if ever a nation took their horticulture seriously 'twas the dutch
look what some awfully clever dutch businessman came up with

and not just roses either but like a zillion other types of flower
check their site out. I have a sneaking suspicion that the rainbow effect is achieved through dye somehow , perhaps through splitting the stems possibly? anyhows I think they are most lovely

don't ever .....

2008-08-27T00:46:00.000-07:00

attempt to dance on a treadmill a'la ok Go in order to annoy your younger sister , you'll only fall on the treadmill and skin your knees - and that my friends is freaking painful

Au clair de Lune (shuffle tag)

2008-08-26T00:50:00.000-07:00

Tagged by lovely Sou (tagged meself out of boredom)
Here are the rules:
1. Put your iTunes/music player on “Shuffle”.
2. For each question, press the “Next” button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT! After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do them themselves.

1.IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Gypsy by Suzanne Vega (hmm)

2.WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Venus in furs by the velvet underground (WHAT!!! crazy Ipod)(I do like strappy boots though!)
3.WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? bats mouth by bat for lashes (so I like looniness , well true)
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? thank god I'm pretty by Emilie Autumn (hahaha thats ridiculous)

5.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? predictions by suzanne vega (another hmm)
6.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? the chamber by the last shadow puppets (yikes!)
7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? the songs that we sing by Charlotte gainsbourg(kind of true)
8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Marlene on the wall by Suzanne Vega
9.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? l'excessive by Carla Bruni (quelle surprise !)
10.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? so long Marianne by JJ Cale

11.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Rose Red by Emilie Autumn (my sister would agree !)

12.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Jesus the mexican boy by Iron and wine (a little off the mark)
13.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Horrorshow by Bat for Lashes (God my Ipod is possessed!)

14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Beauty mark by Charlotte Gainsbourg (awww )
15. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Everything I cannot see by Charlotte Gainsbourg (wow!)
16.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? night time intermission by Charlotte Gainsbourg (not too far off )

17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?In my room by the last shadow puppets

18.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? I dont like you anymore by the last shadow puppets (what is up dudes ???)
19. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? au clair de lune by Debussy

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF? lemon incest by Serge Gainsbourg

I tag Mofa, Forsooth, That Guy, Zawaya el maraya and maxxed out

explanation of the last days of the bluechina acolyte

2008-08-25T05:43:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be interesting to explain my poem to you Since this poem is so to speak a collage of historical incidents I thought I'd give a little background info to clarify things for you. (khalas ba2a the label of nerd/weirdo has becomed permanently affixed to my head )! enjoy !

1-blue china acolyte : in his earliest days at college wilde is reported to have said "I find it harder and harder every day to live up to my blue china." hence blue china acolyte

2- "The heart was meant to be broken" if memory serves this came from 'an ideal husband" not very sure though

3-“cupping his Egyptian cigarette” once upon a time ,in the 19th century Egypt produced the world’s finest cigarettes and Wilde being the refined man he was delighted in them . He once said of cigarettes “A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?” also check out this extraordinary short story by Kate Chopin

4- “a mad boy with a rose petal mouth”: here of course I’m referring to Lord Alfred Douglas “Bosie” the cause of Wilde’s down fall ,one of the letters used in the trial against Wilde was written to Bosie and ran thus “Your sonnet is quite lovely, and it is a marvel that those red rose-leaf lips of yours should have been made no less for music of song than for the madness of kisses. Your slim gilt soul walks between passion and poetry. I know Hyacinthus, whom Apollo loved so madly, was you in Greek days”

5-“A sighing love”- this is from Lord Alfred Douglas’s infamous poem “two loves”

6- “childrens kisses” Wilde had two sons , Vivian and Cyril whom he adored And who inspired his exquisite children’s stories which were collected in “a house of pomegranates” the worst thing Wilde experienced was loss of the right to see his children after his release from Reading Gaol

7- Amber scented champagne – I took this from "De Profundis” the 90 page letter he wrote to lord Alfred whilst in prison

8-'Who never ate his bread in sorrow, Who never spent the midnight hours Weeping and waiting for the morrow, - He knows you not, ye heavenly powers.' This was written by Goethe and often quoted to Oscar by his mother Lady Jane Wilde

9- “The wanderer he became” after his release from prison Wilde spent the last three years of his life in L’hotel d’alsace in Paris. He went under the assumed name of Sebastian Melmoth, after the famously Saint Sebastian and the devilish central character of Wilde's great-uncle Charles Robert Maturin's gothic novel Melmoth the Wanderer.

10- “duelling with wallpaper
he or it had to go!” Just a month before his death Wilde is quoted as saying, "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has got to go."

11-“a purple clad priest at his side” On his deathbed Wilde became a Catholic

12-“he had been killed
by the thing he loved
By each let this be heard
neither by sword nor kiss
but with a careless word”
This is an adaptation of Wildes famous poem ‘The Ballad of Reading Gaol”

The last days of the Blue china Acolyte

2008-08-25T05:35:00.000-07:00

if you haven't noticed yet , I kinda have a thing for Oscar Wilde and since my Muse decided to get off her fat derriere recently and do some frolicking I found myself inspired to write this. I hope you don't find yourself puking excesively :) and yeah I do realise he actually died 108 years ago smart bums
Enjoy! (or not depending on your proclivities)

i

"the heart was made to be broken"
a clever man once said
cupping his Egyptian cigarette
as his own heart quietly bled
for a mad boy
with a rose petal mouth
who would watch
as for a sighing love
a dreamer was destroyed
deprived of
all that made him
applause
childrens kisses
amber scented champagne
forsaken by Apollo
he fashioned Gods
of sorrow and of Pain
as he wept and moaned
over his chains
for the flaneur
who would never rise again

ii
"'Who never ate his bread in sorrow,
Who never spent the midnight hours
Weeping and waiting for the morrow,
He knows you not, ye heavenly powers.'
so she often told him
the bravest of mothers
so at last
he took off the mask
from heaven mercy asked
and sang his last refrain
and so for him a new life began
and a new understanding of man

iii
the wanderer he became
to escape his filthied fame
but it haunted him
that and newer pains
but still he laughed
still he smiled
whiled away the time
with brandy, boys
and sacre coeurs chimes

iv
The end it came most slow
duelling with wallpaper
he or it had to go !
it was him alas
and well did he
this know
so he bid the world goodbye
a purple clad priest at his side
pressed his hand
and closed his eyes
at news of his death
the world both smiled
and cried

v
he had been killed
by the thing he loved
By each let this be heard
neither by sword nor kiss
but with a careless word
bid goodnight
the sweet prince
100 years in earth interred
he wrote the loveliest words
the loveliest I ever saw
the wisest I ever heard
for this I honour him
and shall never suffer that his name
by fools and prudes
ever be slurred

Genpets are a hoax !

2008-08-24T02:08:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it ..... check this out !

Beware the wolvog

2008-08-24T01:30:00.000-07:00

I love Dystopian novels and one of the best I've ever read is Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake which discusses the dangers of genetic engineering espeacially when it comes to genitically modifying animals. The book featured strange hybrids like wolvogs" (hybrids between wolves and dogs), "rakunks" (raccoon and skunk), and "pigoons" (pig and baboon) and the even odder spoat (a goat and spider hybrid) The book is sold under the label of Science fiction Atwood prefers to label this work as "speculative fiction" it turns out she was justified as evinced by these creepy looking Genpets , I'd love to know what you all think about this , do you think that science can go too far? or is anything justified in the name of bettering the human lot ? would you ever consider buying a genpet?
we live in strange times indeed

my constant prayer

2008-08-23T03:08:00.000-07:00

ah! seigneur! donnez-moi la force et le courage - de contempler mon coeur et mon corps sans dégoût!

ah! lord! give me the force and courage - to contemplate my heart and my body without disgust!

Charles Baudelaire -les fleurs de mal

suprising and distressing things

2008-08-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

Sei Shonagen's entry
Surprising and Distressing Things

1-While one is cleaning a decorative comb, something catches in the teeth and the comb breaks.

2-A carriage overturns. One would have imagined that such a solid, bulky object would remain forever on its wheels. It all seems like a dream - astonishing and senseless.

3-A child or a grownup blurts out something that is bound to make people uncomfortable.

4-All night long one has been waiting for a man who one thought was sure to arrive. At dawn, just when one has forgotten about him for a minute and dozed off, a crow caws loudly. One wakes with a start and sees that it is daytime - most astonishing.

5-One of the bowmen in an archery contests stands trembling for a long time before shooting: when finally he does release his arrow, it goes in the wrong direction.

Hebe's suprising and distressing things
1- when you realise that you are towering over your own mother and you could very easily pick her up . she is no longer that benevolent and at times terrifying giantess you always tried to please but a very human creature

2- when you open your handbag and discover that you've forgotten your mobile phone or purse , you always feel strangely naked.

3-when hail descends or a sandstorm occurs in a city , you realise regardless of all this concrete and metal you are still at the mercy of nature

4- when you attempt to look cool and end up tripping /dropping something and generally make an idiot of yourself

5- when you oversleep and wake up and realise that you're desperately horribly late for school/work or appointment

Elegant things

2008-08-13T00:30:00.000-07:00

Sei Shonagon's entry

Elegant things
1-A white coat worn over a violet waistcoat.
2-Duck Eggs.
3-Shaved Ice mixed with liana syrup and put in a new silver bowl.
4- A rosary of rock crystal.
5-Snow on wistaria or plum blossoms.
6-A pretty child eating strawberries.

Hebe's elegant things

1-silver cufflinks
2-an unusual Chignon
3-Cameo brooches
4- A pavlova meringue topped with fresh strawberries
5-Groppi's marron glace served on blue china
6- A handsome man in a well cut suit

Sei Shonagon post No#1

2008-08-12T13:12:00.000-07:00

one of my obsessions (and there are a great many)is Japanese culture ,this obsession originated with my father who would tell me stories as a child about Samurai espeacially the legendary Miyamoto Musashi up till now one of my favorite books is Eiji Yoshikwa's fictionalization of Musashi's life
at any rate I soon started reading more about Japan and it's culture and still do , one of my most recent reads was Sei Shonagon's pillow book . which was basically a random collection of things she found interesting, gossip , poetry and lists. It struck me with the freshness and vitality of it's style . it seemed to me that had she lived in the present day it's very likely she would have had a blog.So in honour of her I'm going to start a string of posts based on her pillow book entries, just for fun

the school of life (literally)

2008-08-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

last year I read Alain de Bottons 'Essays on love" which was the most refreshing take on Love and philosophy , It's a dissection of a relationship both from a personal perspective and through deeply analytical philosophical reflections.it's one of my very favorite books so I was rather charmed to learn of the school of life which
which he helped found. I think it's a fascinating venture espeacially the idea of the dinner parties they plan to have amongst strangers ,I mean how cool is that , I am so thoroughly sick of inane conversations , and imagine that no akward silences no dullness . I half wish I could draw up a conversation menu like that when I go dine with my relatives.
I'd prohibit talk/gossip about other distant relatives of whose exsistence I was never aware of , insincere fawning , covert matchmaking, backbiting and any kind of talk regarding Egyptian celebrities this might result in complete silence but my god would't that be the most perfect kind of bliss ?

help needed

2008-08-10T07:24:00.000-07:00

why on earth is the content thingymabobby at the bottom of the page , it refuses to budge , my god I am the most technologically inept adolescent on the face of the planet . Anyhows if anyone has any idea why my content bar or whatever its called is at the bottom of the page HELP !

random thought

2008-08-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

Living in Egypt is like living with most beautiful slob in the world , sometimes she enthralls you with her lovely smile and charming ways and at other times she infuriates you with her sloveliness and disgusting habits. its a difficult and often stormy relationship but those rare moments of loveliness makes it all seem worthwhile

a fool reflects

2008-08-06T08:34:00.000-07:00

I wrote this on the back of my shariaa law notes to make me feel less bad about being a complete dumbass ! not my best but I hope all my fellow toe stubbers , tumblers and general clots enjoy it !

endless are the reams of paper
I could fill with graceful curlicue
about the humilations I have suffered
and put myself through
oh numberless the situations
by others terribly misconstrued
my life has been a series
of embrassments and foolishness
from which I emerged
an interesting shade of cerise
ah well I've survived and had many a laugh
at my thwarted loves and sad social gaffes
I've often thought (and this gives me much peace)
much in life is finite
people rarely please
too often sucess is under a lease
but you can be always be sure
that the adventures of a fool
never cease !

morning misanthropy

2008-08-04T00:39:00.000-07:00

God I'm in such a foul mood this morning , humanity at large is pissing me off big time and I just need to rant ,rave and froth at the mouth a bit (N.B my complaints are not in any way novel , also great deal of swearing )
I'm so sick of my mother feeling terrified everytime I go down to catch a cab IN A FUCKING T-SHIRT , she's scared that some idiot will give me shit or I'll have the misfortune of riding with some insanely sexually repressed driver or something along those lines. So every morning for the last few days I've had to change into a long sleeved top to set her heart at ease and I'm sick of having my exsitence dictated by fear and others stupidities in this manner and if I hear one more story from my friends about being groped on a bus or hassled in any way I'm going to go beserker.KEFAYA BA2A ERHAMONA !!!!!! also I'm tired of cars slowing down when I stand alone on a pavement and stupid looking buggers peering at me hopefully , no I am not a hooker so kindly piss off elsewhere you chumps . grrrr
I'm sick of the victories of the corrupt and the greedy , I still can't believe the Al-Salam 98 ferry case verdict it's a horrible twisted joke of a verdict and no langauge has enough invectives for Mamdouh Ismail .
come to think of it today I feel like the number of people I loathe is almost countless .
today I hate (in no particular order)
1- rude waiters /Shop assistants in general
2- shitty friends who never bother to call
3- the greedy monady by el Ahly club
4- every single autocratic statesman in the world
5- people who pick their noses in traffic (we can see you , you twats)
6- the entire staff of the Rock cafe in Nasr city (NEVER EVER GO THERE)
7- smart asses who give me driving advice whilst going the wrong direction in a one way street
8- every single man I have ever known who has patted my shoulder , smirked and said "lets just be friends"
9-CEO'S of companies selling beauty products , fashion designers , Hugh Hefner and Fashion Magazine editors
10- Every single human being who has ever purposefully tried to make me feel like shit

At the moment I feel like going on a shin/testicle kicking spree

I'm tired of being nice , kind and empathising with people , so few deserve it really

I could go on , but I think I've vented a few decades worth of bile and annoyance

if you've read this , thank you for enduring my pissiness

actual conversation

2008-05-04T03:37:00.000-07:00

(scene , my sister R and I have just returned from supermarket , we start studying )

R: E7na gebna eh men el supermarket ?
H: what an odd question Eh ya binty do you have a two second memory ?
R: I forgot

God I love living with my sister , its delightfully weird

amusing thought

2008-05-04T03:29:00.001-07:00

if I were to weigh the amount of things I have to study, I'd say (roughly) that I have to study around two kilos of legalties . Imagine that, bearing two kilos worth of knowledge in my wee little head , its certainly a mercy that knowledge has no physical weight . we'd all be walking around with heads the size of the Easter Island statues .

yes I have gone daft from lack of sleep

insomnia- random blatherings

2008-04-16T18:41:00.000-07:00

And so it begins , my annual transformation into an innvoluntary nocturnal creature
I dont know why but every spring my body turns traitor and decides that sleep is for wimpy , cowed anatomies that are subject to the tyrannical whims of their owners . not my body , not my cells , not my bastard nervous system .No ,no they just happen to be bloody minded communists baying for my sanity ! I can just visualize my subversive cells meeting up in undisclosed , discreet locations (my apendix one supposes or a kidney) one them with a nice bushy karl marxian beard screaming "enough comrades ! we will stop working for this wretched tyrant Hebe , each doing the task he is alloted , cowed by the demoniac thought police . those barbarious neurons and for what? a bit of glucose ? a little water that we so sorely need to stay alive ! we must rebel ! rebel arrrrrgh.
and so they start employing devious guerilla tactics LIKE KEEPING ME AWAKE ALL BLOODY NIGHT ! well little bolshie cells you got your sodding way , I abdicate ! can I pleeasse go to bed now ?

yes I realize what I just wrote is

a)slightly unintelligible
b)completely mad
c) really not that funny

but nothing else is really helping , not litres of hot chamomile tea , not listening to harp music accompanied by sounds of babbling brooks ,not even reading James Joyce's ulyssess , the most dull and befuddling book ever written in the history of mankind
it still amazes me that that book was banned for a while for obscenity (apparently theres a scene where a character masturbates) I have come to believe this is something of literary myth , where the hell is that scene ?what obscenity? who actually has the mental strength to make it beyond the first few chapters . i honestly think that its deemed a modern classic solely because no-one wants to admit that either these were the ramblings of literary genius gone completly off his rocker and were in short complete crap , or that its actually an erudite exploration of the human psyche by a hyperintelligent man , and to confess that its completely incomprehnsible to mere mortals is basically a confession of criminal stupidity. well either way the only use i can see for it is an a cure for my horrific insomnia or to straighten a wonky table

well am still wide awake but for fear of driving you poor sods to my level of insantity i will go skip around a bit whilst reading ulyssess and hopefully will fall comatose to the floor out of a combination of exhaustion and mind numbing boredom
ah well since I won't be sleeping much at least I'll finally have time to do some blogging !

sweet dreams
and good morning !

snippet 1

2008-01-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

dreaming of sunlight
gasping for rain
caught in one season
one longs for the other again

about the whole constinency thing

2007-12-10T08:20:00.000-08:00

the intention remains but i am horrendously , horrifically and disgustingly busy studying for "gasp" 7 subjects this term ! (wish me luck) so blogging will resume as soon as is humanly possible .... and a very happy eid and merry christmas to all

on the occassion of my 19th birthday

2007-11-18T05:14:00.000-08:00

On this day of 18 november 2007, I mademoiselle HH also known as hebe , being of relatively sound mind(excepting several occassions of insanity and inerbriation which will be blogged about at yawn inducing length) hereby swear to henceforth cease being a lazy plop of a human being and start blogging with a little more consistency , this I do solemnly swear. cross my heart, scouts honor , honest injun etc etc

witnessed by a random fly I've decided to call nebuchadnezzar and my sleeping grandmother wh0 half the time doesn't know what I'm gibbering on about

they have not signed for somewhat obvious reasons

HH

18-11-2007

incidentally I have no idea how to pronounce nebuchadnezzar which does not please my witness one whit

3amar ya masr

2007-10-30T08:06:00.000-07:00

during this week i have seen
1- a long bearded mullah type in gallabeya riding a harley davidson
2- a taxi sporting a single ostrich plume in its baggage holder - a la cyrano de bergerac
3- a fellow on scooter with one shib-shibed foot apparently holding down the boot of a white ford fiesta , he looked very curiously like a dog peeing against a tree
4- in the middle of gameat el dowal street a donkey half keeled over , peeing while the fellow riding the caretta blithely examines his nails
5-el amn el markazy (the egyptian version of S.W.A.T) surrounding cairo university despite the lack of a demonstration

life is so sweetly surreal

the gam3eet el qahira exberience

2007-10-06T04:37:00.000-07:00

you know your'e in cairo university when :

1- you decide to go for an aimless amble , promptly get lost and navigate your way back to your modarag by trying to keep the infamous dome of the main building . its basically the lodestar of the entire university

2- the farash is your best friend . if there are books to be brought , burecratic procedures you can't be arsed to do or you have a terrible hankering for tea , he's the guy to go to. however make sure "te3ayedi 3ali" every once in a while , sweetening him up with cleopatra ciggies also does wonders

3- its probably the only university in the world with shoe shine chaps at every corner

4-your dining choices are somewhat limited . its either; koshary , foul (faculty of science), very dubious kebda and panee sandwhiches (law) or crepes (tegara)

5- beware of obese toothless men who offer to stand in line and pay your fees for you

6- the only protests are held by the muslim brotherhood

7- you get kicks by sneaking into other peoples lectures , causing a ruckus and getting kicked out by irate proffessors

8- you have to mentally prepare yourself for any burecratic procedures/paperwork at least a week in advance , also get the numbers of a psychiatrist and a decent masseuse . your going to need them pretty badly after getting it done

9- you realize that the cairo university employees are somewhat like the vogons in"the hitchikers guide to the galaxy" I find this to be a very apt description of them:
"They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public enquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters."

to be continued.......

quote of the day

2007-10-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

If i killed myself out of sheer despair she'd come in the room and say "tsk tsk el karawata deh do it again "
- my sister R on my perfectionist mother

A burning question quenched

2007-09-19T01:40:00.000-07:00

yes i know the title sucks !
anyhoo after a little research have solved the turtle/tortoise dilemna
(drumroll)
its a tortoise !
will update you soon on its sex

dispatch no#1 from the ramadan feeding front

2007-09-17T00:47:00.000-07:00

yea I have returned ye of little faith
I have passed this year of law school , huzzah!
however am now wallowing in the miseries of being born sans phallus in Ramadan, for those not in the know this entails obscene amounts of cooking/cleaning/shouting/weeping with mumikins who in Ramadan becomes a rather volatile mix of Martha Stewart &Medusa (she has a very unnerving stare) . For your amusement a list of pre ramadani doings

day before Ramadan

1-wake up at 6 , cleaning cleaning a little shouting more cleaning
1-go to Cairo university , shout a lot at incomptent employees
2-go pickup grandmother who has been conscripted as kitchen assistant
3- soothe harried grandmother who is in curlers , cooking mahshy etc and not ready to set off for the cinnamon scented furnace of doom(i.e our kitchen)
4-for some reason grandmother has decided carpets need to be washed
5- help grandmother remove all carpets in house managing to chip a vase and drop several knick knacks in the process
6- realize am clumsy oaf , most distressing
7-dust floor and move furniture back into place dropping more knick knacks
8-twiddle thumbs whilst waiting for grandmas washing machine to be done
9-help grandma hang up washing to dry
10- receive very giggly phonecall from mother , apparently the cleaning lady has fallen on top of her . she wants me to pick up samna from great aunt N
11-look for grandmothers tortoise or is it a turtle ?
12- realize that i do not not know sex or genus of grandmothers pet , most distressing
13- finally we set off !
14- in the midst of my ponderings on turtle/tortoise am peed upon by said creature
15- discover that turtle/tortoise pee is scentless and very cold
16-cannot stop laughing and forget to pick up samna till am reminded by grandma
17-am forced to turn around and pick up wretched samna ,eft as rambling hal would say
18-go to aunts to give tortoise and pick up rokak and kofta
19-turtle/tortoise has pooed in cage , turtle/tortoise poo is also scentless. has it something to do with it being herbivorous?
20- give aunt turtle/tortoise who is now somewhat distressed and quivering due to unpleasant contents of cage
21-set off for home
22- room is so tidy! oh and all my books organized so beautifully! how blissful
23-have no time to luxuriate must set off to buy neccessities
24-give very loud EFT plus several muttered curses
25- Metro is so crowded and there are no shopping trolleys ,let out volley of efts and more curses
26- am informed by surly shop assistants that there are neither chives ,coriander ,pepsi or Ricotta cheese to be had for love or money
27-ya halawa shall be flayed alive by mummyikins
28- return home , suprisingly am not flayed alive
29-discover that cleaning lady is weeping because none of her relatives have called
30 -mollify cleaning lady with our old fanous and bag of goodies ,she goes home
31-cooking , cooking shouting more cooking
32- sleeeeeeeeeeeep

converse of a refined and informative nature

2007-06-04T10:43:00.000-07:00

my family never fails to amuse

me : r you dont eat enough veggies ,no wonder your'e so weak and always exhausted i mean you don't see popeye munching on chips and sausages
R: jeesh you crazy ass vegeterian , i know i know !
dad: still the poor guy must have had the most awful constipation eating nothing but spinach
me: he was super strong, who cares !
dad: he'd need to be super strong to take a dump !

in need of love ,cake and several gallons of ice cream

2007-04-28T05:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know if anyone has noticed but i try to avoid atypical & quite frankly annoying adolscent whinging and whining on my blog , stuff like why oh why don't I have a boyfriend /acne free face / divine bod/ good grades etc etc ad nauesuem . but life has become somewhat overwhelming (as is the rather irritating wont of life) and if i cannot rant pathetically about the idiotic mundanties of my insignificant exsistence on my blog which is privy to complete strangers where can i possibly do it ? to friends , family ? but my rather elegant(bear my delusions) , confident pose would explode rather uncharmingly. so here goes , my first and hopefully last utterly idiotic hormone fueled rant about the silly things that have been niggling me
firstly , i am frankly quite sick of studying law , its starting to seem like an exercise in futility , just look at the state of this country , its exhausting and my proffessors for the most part are pompous, pretentious asses (with a few exceptions) I'm sick of the moronic burecracy , the toadiness of my fellow students who take every chance to fawn at the proffessors
its all just ........ bleugh . but then im already in my second year and starting all over again is going to mean ive pretty much wasted two years sans achieving anything tangible or significant
im am enjoying my journalistic work , despite that most of what i am writing is basically mindfluff but then i am only 18 so what can i realistically excpect ? but still (cue self pitying snivelling) I'm mortally afraid that all my high and mighty literary hopes are nothing but self delusion and that i'll end up a great big ghastly mediocrity (a fate i will not dwell on for fear of arousing dormant suicidal thoughts )
i hate the fact that my parents expectations of me have dwindled so pathetically (due to lacklustre grades amongst other things)
blah blah blah
you know what after writing this , i realize what a wretched silly im being , my problems are really quite piffling and i really oughtnt bore the few people who read this blog
but sometimes the little stupidties acquire a ludicrous significance and they threaten to engulf you unless you tell them to someone, even if to complete strangers
and now i have breaken my cardinal rule of not acting like a gushing , callow teenager with great aplomb
ah well

I apologize

finis twitiness

when freedom dies

2007-03-26T05:40:00.000-07:00

so this it ....our so called plebiscite day . God I feel too miserable to write anything coherent , everything just makes me feel ghastly because this is just a great big bloody farce . the slick instructions in el Ahram on how to vote , the platitudes and the godawful chirpiness of normal life that just rolls on
regardless of everything , of people languishing in jails after yesterdays demonstration . the hypocrisy of it all is just grotesque , the stupid stupid pretense about how this day will turn us into some great democratic nation . yes we proved how thoroughlly democratic we are just yesterday, how thoroughly tolerant we are . ha bloody ha , but honestly what is the solution ? what can I or anyone else do ? nothing except let anger and futility writhe inside us and drive us insane

Indifference

2007-03-23T16:05:00.000-07:00

you cower in your marble fortress
a bastion of solid cold
while i skulk beggar like at the gates
awaiting alms of feeling
a hungry sorrow gnawing at my heart
how i long to climb the walls
but with each attempt
slip against the unpocked ,smooth marble
scrabbling frantically
falling into an uncomprehending heap
while you peer at me
with mirror eyes that say nothing
I scream at the placid mass
pound at it with aching fists
futile all
even my hot tears
trickle down the walls
and fall unseen
mingling muddily with the kind dust

edible art

2007-03-22T07:42:00.000-07:00

a gummy bear bear rug ! so quirky ! me loves !
check out more gummy bear art by artist ya ya chou (what a name !)

ex- first ladies - what on earth do they do with their time?

2007-03-22T06:54:00.000-07:00

the other day I went to help my mother man her stall at the diplomats club annual bazzar ,
now I find helping my mother at bazaars an exceedingly amusing experience as its the best people watching you can do , I espeacially love going to ones organized by the rotary club because basically theyre all a bunch of rich pretentious twits who pose and preen endlessly- a show of the most idiotic specimens of humanity who despite being garbed from head to toe in chanel will haggle with you on an 18l.e tea cosy (real incident)
well the diplomats bazaar as always was a highly tedious affair as not that many people bother to come and those who do are mostly old crones who mess up the scarf display and end up buying zilch . but this one was the exception as no other than Gihan el Sadat showed up with a very snooty but chic lebanese lady diplomat . it was very interesting to watch how everyone reacted to her presence
spines straightened , big idiotic grins were plastered on and the fawning began .
i hate to admit this but i felt a bit of a duff as i was atired in jeans with torn hems a very grotty turqoise kaftan but this is not peculiar for me as any celebrity encounters i have tend to see me
looking like something of a guttersnipe . like the infamous occassion where i dined with my father at la trattoria and bumped into both Ahmed ramzy and Omar el Sherif swilling whisky with water .
I had just come out of an exam and was wearing a oversize white sweatshirt much worse for wear after 3 hours in a dirty cairo university lecture hall and those wretched jeans with the torn hems ! not a good look for meeting matinee idols whom one had a schoolgirlish crush on.
but i digress
anyway madame sadat passed by our humble stall and very nicely shook hands with mama and me and took a cursory look at our wares "hagatgom meshkhala awy!"
and then she toodled off . and thus ended my tete a tete with the first real egyptian first lady
which lead me to wonder about the pecularity of the job of first lady
but thats a subject for another post

cos am a lazy sod

2007-03-07T13:36:00.000-08:00

havent blogged in aeons i know but am horrifically busy what with the study of law , freelance journalism and such and also to be frank im a lazy bugger who can't be arsed really
but have plenty to blog about ,so my minute readership will no longer languish in misery pondering my fate . i will get my bum in gear
till then yet another tag by cereberous world

extract page 123 from thirst for love by yukio mishima
"miyo alone walked with him to the other side of the bridge .
that was her right. Etsuko saw every detail as she watched them go. saburo stopped turned and saluted yakichi and etsuko standing in the yard . long after his form had blended with the coloured leaves of the maple grove ,the flash of his teeth ,bared in a smile ,shone in etsukos memory"

5 things you didnt know about me

2007-02-26T11:30:00.000-08:00

everyones doing it , cereberous world tagged me so what the hey !

1- I'm a mythology buff , I know most of the major pantheons by heart and most of the main myths .
Iin fact hebe is the greek godess of youth and the bearer of the gods ambrosia which endows them with eternal youth , she was also one of the wives of hercules . its utterly pointless esoteric knowledge but i find it fascinating

2- I spent half of my childhood in Namibia , a small country in southern Africa , I learnt both swahili and afrikaans there ,however i can't remember much of either language !

3- I hate talking on the phone , i feel awkward and buffonish and hence tend to ramble on idiotically to cover my self conciousness

4- I am a secret "phan" of the phantom of the opera , ever since i saw the play in the west end in london, since then i have read the original novel by gaston leroux (as well as a few of the dozens of spinoffs ) and play the soundtrack constantly . my favorite song is " music of the night"

5- I played the violin for 7 years , then one day i realized i was horrifically crap at it and decided to spare innocent listeners from mutilated renderings of swan lake (which i was exceedingly fond of playing) I sometimes wonder if i should have just practised a little harder .

the begining of the end or just the end of the begining?

2007-02-21T03:39:00.000-08:00

withdrawal of British troops from iraq

seriously convenient

2007-02-21T02:58:00.000-08:00

underwear with a pocket for your ipod !!!!!
i want a knickers version pleeasssse !

humans suck

2007-02-14T02:33:00.000-08:00

yesterday as i was going down the 6th october bridge ,as usual its was packed as tight as a tin of sardines (unorignal metaphor i know i know) el mohem an ambulance was trying to pass through and not a single person budged .ok its crowded w kol haga but come on someone could be dying in there ! how callous can people get?

dieting vs femnism

2007-02-13T15:37:00.000-08:00

a very interesting article
its very strange how we instantnously equate attractive,well groomed women with frivolity and yet we don't with men . how the desire to be healthy and attractive is always deemed as an attempt to pander to men.I think societies as a whole tend to compartmentalize women if your one thing you cant possibly the other. its either bimbo or bluestocking which is ludicrous because real women are a lot more complicated than that .
.hmmm this makes me think of the women i see at the nutrtionist, the majority of which are veiled (though they are a various ages) I wonder why they diet ?

singletons half hearted chuckle

2007-02-13T15:09:00.000-08:00

was IMing with an English friend about the miseries of valentines day when she sent me this rather amusing link
and people think the English are such prudes !

on my book wishlist

2007-02-13T04:31:00.000-08:00

check out this preview of Norman mailers latest book
the book is an exploration of Adolf Hitlers childhood narrated by a devil in the guise of an ss man called dieter .
man if i could write like that i would curl up in a corner somewhere and die a satisfied woman
hohum ...

a line im dying to put into one of my stories

2007-02-06T12:18:00.000-08:00

its crude , its a little crass and so not like my usual writing style
i guess that why Im slightly obsessed with it

"life is a whore you want to fuck badly and she won't let you "

im being possessed by some awful character that is screaming to be written
ideas please !

some interesting installations

2007-02-06T11:51:00.000-08:00

These pieces by two artists walter martin and paloma munoz .
I espeacially like the human candles . wouldn't it be rather strange if we aged like candles instead of your body starting to weaken , your flesh wrinkling and sagging
you melted gradually , everyday you'd wake up and see how much of you had melted away
till theres not enough wax to sustain the wick , the flame sputters and poof you're gone

man i weird myself out sometimes

it just doesn't cease

2007-02-06T09:56:00.000-08:00

another terrible story
police rape
so much for el shorta f khedmat al sha3b .
what really pisses me off is why no-one went in to help the poor girl , naturally because they were afraid of the police . who the hell is supposed to protect us ?

life for sale ....... literally

2007-01-28T12:54:00.000-08:00

It's a crazy ass world .
check this dude out
its an amusing idea though ... don't think there would be too many takers if i were to auction my life.
wonder whats the return policy on lives?

a new matriarchy

2007-01-28T12:07:00.000-08:00

I read about this a while ago , though I honestly can't remember where
the washington post has a good if old article about it
umoja womans village

stories like this give me hope , that long ingrained cultural misogyny doesnt have to fuck up your life .you may not be able to conquer it , to eradicate it but with bravery you can create a life for yourself , a full happy life and help other women too. I think its a wonderful model to help women in general espeacially women who have been abused by men and are in desperate need of somewhere to live .

a most interesting eid incident (late post)

2007-01-28T11:41:00.000-08:00

as you can imagine eid is the most demoralizing time of year for a lonely vegeterian
and this one was no exception , i woke up early to study and consequently spent most of the morning trying to block out the frantic bleating of frightened sheep . anyhow the butcher comes up with our meat neatly organized into the one kilo bags + 0ur own portion which also contains various parts of sheeps innards , my grandma starts inspecting the contents of this bag of delights

Grandma : that thief he took the makhasy !

me : (puzzled by this intrigueing organ) whats the makhasy grandma ?

grandma : ummmm I don't know the word in english , ask your father

dad : its the testicles

me : whhhhhhaaaat ! surely you dont eat it

dad: i certainly dont!

grandma : its delicious . your great uncle S always makes sure that the butcher gives him the makhasy . he cries if he doesnt get it

yes apparently i have relatives who delight in the consumption of sheep testicles . an ingredient probably used by the witches in macbeth for auguring and cursing
it is a terrible thing to contemplate and i was too afraid to ask if they consider it as an aphrodisiac of some sort .
I also realised my arabic vocabulary is lacking in rather key anatomical terms which is an even worse thing to contemplate .
at any rate I don't think i can look at great uncle S again without sniggering

the hebe returneth

2007-01-28T11:19:00.000-08:00

hullo me lovelies
why is it i feel so strangely obliged to apologize to all and sundry for not blogging in so long
its most peculiar but I do in all probability some clever philosophy student will write a terribly unreadable treatise on it someday "moral obligation and cyber space " or something of the sort
with an infinitely less comprehensible title
life has been quite dull for the past few months . just studying law , pigging out or sleeping
the regular apres exam routine .
however i will return to regular blogging now that I have become a lady of lesuire ( to a limited extent since im helping my mother run her shop )
Its a new year and a fully intend to become a better version of myself and hopefully this blog will also emerge from the crysallis if i may presume to use such an awful metaphor
a belated happy new year to everyone !

we now interupt your regular blog for some advertising on my mothers behalf

2006-12-16T14:40:00.000-08:00

yes i know i know i havent blogged in yonks but im now currently in pre exam hibernation and i kinda doubted anyone would find my study schedule particularly enthralling .
anyhows after an ardous time which consisted of a lot of nail biting on my part , a lot of whines from my father about our ensuing bankruptcy and my mother screaming endlessly at incomptent workers for months on end ........................
za hebe mama is opening a shop !!!!!
yes indeedy on the 22nd of december she is opening her utterly fabulous though somewhat tiny boutique "beads and threads "which sells lots of lovely handmade stuff all designed by my genius mother (with occassional assistance from yours truly) scarves , veils , shawls , bags , cushions tablecloths , wall hangings etc etc . its espeacially useful if you are a blushing bride and need stuff for your love nest or are picking up something up for someones wedding list
we are also going to provide a rather nifty service .which is customizing clothing , bags ,jeans (anything made of fabric really) with beading or embroidery . also my mum works mostly with charities so youll also be giving impoverished but very talented needlewomen a livelihood st

come check us out !

beads and threads 10 el messaha square , omarayet el masreyen , dokki
infront of safir hotel

our stuff is 100% handmade 100% egyptian 100% original

how i feel right now

2006-11-30T14:23:00.000-08:00

I've posed for pictures with Ivory Soap.
I've petted stray dogs and shied clear of dope.
My smile is brilliant, my glance is tender.
But I'm noted most for my unspoiled gender.
I've been made Miss Rangle, though I've never touch beer.
And I'm the person to whom they say: 'You're sweet, my dear'.
The only etchings I've seen have been behind glass.
And the closest I've been to a bar - was at ballet class.
Prim and proper.
The girl who's never been kissed.
Well, I'm tired of being pure, and not chaste.
Like something that seeks its level
I wanna go to the devil
I wanna be evil
I wanna spit tacks
I wanna be evil
And cheat at Jacks
I wanna be wicked
I wanna tell lies.
I wanna be mean And throw mud pies
.I want to wake up in the morning with that 'Dark Brown' taste.
I wanna see some dissipation in my face.
I wanna be evil.I wanna be mad.
But more that thatI wanna be bad

I wanna be evil And trump an ace.
Just to see my partner's face.
I wanna be nastyI wanna be cruel
I wanna be daringI wanna shoot pool
And in the theaterI want to change my seat
Just so I can step on everybody's feet
I wanna be evilI wanna hurt flies
I wanna sing songs like the guy who cry-ey-ey-ey-eysI wanna be horrid
I wanna drink booze

And whatever I've got, I am eager to lose.
I wanna be evil
Little evil me
Just as mean and evil
As I can be

eartha kitt

the oscar

2006-11-30T01:29:00.000-08:00

Today is 106th anniversary of Oscar Wildes death.
if if were to be a little excessive i might say that Oscar wilde is the central god in my personal literary pantheon .
Its often been said that in being a writer one tends to write about life rather than live it ,but for oscar wilde this was not the case . art touched every facet of his life . he lived as he saw fit moulding his exsistence to suit his desires rather than succumbing to convention
i rever him for his wit , i admire him for his wisdom and i pity him because love was his downfall love and the cruelty of mediocre men .

i long to live as bravely as he did , disdaining the stupidties of society with a grace and charm that made society adore him

may he never be forgotten

Merci M. Gauguin

2006-11-22T01:35:00.000-08:00

"take it to your hearts and nail something indecent to your door .from that moment onwards you need have nothing more to do with decent people,those most unbearable creatures in gods whole wide world "
Paul Gauguin Avant et apres

a shura council of muslim women

2006-11-19T02:40:00.000-08:00

this is very interesting news
http://www.muslimwakeup.com/main/archives/2006/11/muslim_women_le.php
I'm very curious to see whether this council will change anything in our societies, not just general misogny but Muslim womens perceptions of themeselves .
come to think of it wouldnt life be so very very different if all muslim clerics were women ......

just my mind boggling fantasy of the day

new James Bond movie - a review

2006-11-19T00:49:00.000-08:00

firstly,
oooooh , ahhhhhhh wowzers yum yum droooool ursula andress eat your heart out
(shamless and pointless ogling now over with)

Well I must say this is probably one of the best Bond movies I have seen in a while ( though the soundtrack sucks on an infinite number of levels)
some like my beloved maman might disagree violently with me for one or more of the following reasons
1) daniel craig looks like a thug (wot!)
2)there are only two bond girls and one dies waaay too soon (fathers complaint)
3) where are the gadgets ? where the hell is Q
4) he's suposed to be in a suit all the time
5) he's supposed to come out of all his fights unscathed not looking like something that just came out of the butchers

well i think that the above reasons are exactly why I liked this film . bond movies were starting to become terribly formulaic , it was about time for a return to reality (just a wee bit)
and the original books.
you see along with a rather insane prediliction for shoes i have i nherited from my father a love for the original james bond novels (we have all of them incidentally) and finally i have seen a film that has the feel of the novels . And a James Bond that is uncanilly like the one of the novels (except for the blond hair)
so thumbs up !

turned 18 yesterday

2006-11-19T00:38:00.000-08:00

whoop de doodle yay!
will drink
will drive
(not simultaneously)
will vote at nearest opportunity (dont mean shit in this country right now but will do it for kicksof the civic duty sort)
will consort with young nubile men in a thoroughly debauched fashion (if you have an exeptionally well formed gluteus maximus and are of the male sex you have been warned,i am on the prowl )
will get a tattoo (rite of passage sort of thing)
will get back my copy of lady chatterlys lover from my father
will...........

any more suggestions for what i ought to do ?

writers dilemna

2006-11-15T08:23:00.000-08:00

what does one do when a character pops into your head with such ferocity she seems like a real person . she absloutely marvellous a brilliant philosophically hedonistic (but practically an ascetic) gauloise smoking translator (working on an arabic translation of the marquis de sade)
i have no story to put her in and its driving me crazy
writers block sucks

the stand

2006-11-11T13:27:00.000-08:00

its seems a wee bit late to post about the stand . but the apatmentsLAN coordinator is an utter ass . O, if you ever find this blog just wanna let you know YOU ARE AN ASS and stop hitting on my sister you creep SHE AINT INTERESTED!!!!

but I digress,

anyway , this was the first demonstaration i have ever participated in (and this was only because I snuck out of the house under false pretences ) I was as is my scaredy cat wont extremely nervous before going so i read surat el nissa , sang ave maria
and prayed to every female deity that popped into my head (im not one to take chances as you can tell) i got there and stood for a bit slightly flabbergasted (espeacially at the seemingly endless row of amn dawla)then a friend came along with a sign and people started showing up
what a mixed crowd ! everyone from kifaya activists to foreign AUC students and lucky old moi got to meet mona el tahawy . she is so unbelievably nice !
again i digress

i have only one complaint , i didnt like the political turn the demonstration took , i thought we should have concentrated on the issue at hand that being the eid molestations and the social indifference to sexual harassment in our streets . otherwise it was well organized , the turnout was good and there was a lot of journalists prowlingabout . Ionly hope the message gets to people . Also i got home in one piece and did not have to use either my pepper spray or my telescope baton which was a relief .

i would like to thank nerro for getting it all together and everyone else who was involved in organizing it ! you guys rock

saddam is gone

2006-11-07T15:52:00.000-08:00

i read somewhere " a nation deserves its leaders"
and with saddam about to be bumped off, i wonder did the iraqi people deserve this man ?

slightly odd midnight thoughts

2006-11-07T15:41:00.000-08:00

why is it that a mans sexual desire considered totally natural and its repression nearly impossible ( hence the lack of condemnation from society when it comes to sexual harrassment)
and yet a womans is odd ,and "wrong"
asides from societal expectations blah blah blah .
wheres the logic ?
I mean the woman is the one with clitoris (la hayaa fel ilm ya gamaa !) which is the only part of the human body which serves no biological purpose beyond pleasure ....
why is there no male psychological illness on par with nymphomania? (if there is, excuse my ignorance)
its all rather fishy is you ask me

when only extreme measures will do

2006-10-30T07:30:00.000-08:00

my life as the molested

2006-10-29T17:04:00.000-08:00

after reading forsoothsayers post about the eid gropings/rapes i was utterly unsuprised espeacially after what happened to my sister but incredibly saddened . saddened this society is living a grand pretense . that we are pious and chaste and safe , when really we are no better than cavemen or animals.
here are a few of my memories
I remember the very first time i was physically molested . it was just after my 14th birthday
i was at the annual international bookfair which is a very important part of the year for me
as armed with the entire years savings plus birthday money i stock up on books for the winter
i was bending over a pile of books in the ahram tent when someone pinched my ass .
my god how violated i felt , i spent the rest of that evening with the my hands behind my back
so my hefty plastic bags of books would protect my derriere . i made a rather silly picture i suppose but it was only in that uncomfortable pose did i feel somewhat safe .
i remember the creepiest verbal molestation i ever got . i was walking abbas el akkad with my best friend Y . then this chap in a battered old ford fiesta yells out to us
if i could get at either of your boobs i'd cut them off !
i remeber us stoping in our tracks unbelieving someone could say such a thing
i remember walking along with my sister and her friend one day when a couple of morons in a car started yelling out the usual bullshit and my sisters friend giving them the finger
they came out and started threatning us because she had the audacity to swear at them

this are a few scenes from my life and they are typical of the life of any girl in egypt

what do i think ? how do i feel

i'll leave you to to imagine what i think and how i feel

a warning to all (espeacially in nasr city area)

2006-10-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

oh what a horrid day this has been !
my sister was at home alone today when a chap comes up with the bawabs son . he says he's come to look at the gas meter etc etc. seems safe enough .
anyway he goes into the kitchen and peers at it then asks my sister for a chair to look at it closer, while she is doing this he grabs her hips and tries to kiss her ! my sister didnt lose her cooland punched him and then shoved him out . the dumbass bawabs son just stood there and let the man go! my poor sister is still terribly shaken .
anyhow if anyone claims to be the gas meter reader ask him to show his id . and if he says he works for a private company . the he's a thief/conman/potential rapist be espeacially careful if you live in the nasr city area cos thats where that bastard and his gang is still on the prowl

its fucking unbelievable

Unveiled

2006-10-06T17:23:00.000-07:00

a short poem in prose a la oscar wilde

my sisters who chose to shroud yourself whilst living or simply to hide your hair with rainbow colored scarves I want you to understand why i will never join the ranks of the modest and the chaste (if this is how you perceive yourself) so you may leave me to live the life i have choosen for myself though you may see it as a wayof paving a path to everlasting doom.
if i wear the burqa /niqab there is so much i deny myself that makes life beautiful . i will not feel breezes caress my face and hair , or truly feel the warmth of the suns rays though this very same sun renders my coverings unbearable . I will not be able to swim in the sea and feel the waves buffet my body playfully , i wont be able to really feel the tang of its salty breath upon my tongue . all these things that sing of the beauty of God will be denied to me .
dear sisters you forget that our bodies are not simply anothers pleasure, but servants of our soul
our legs were given to us to walk upon the earth, our arms for work and toil and our breasts to nourish our children
should we deny ourselves much of lifes joys because of mens lust ? but do we not lust ourselves
and long and yearn but strangely men do not cloak themselves from our gaze .
i do not deny you the right to do what you consider to be right and virtous but please tolerate me and do not condemn me simply because i am not dressed like you . all souls are equal in the sight of God and should be in the sight of men and women.
so leave me be as i do you

a life strangely lived

2006-10-04T11:53:00.000-07:00

about a year ago I was flipping through an art magazine when i found an article about a documentary called "in the realm of the unreal" about an "outsider" artist called henry darger, i found his story and his art strangely compeling .

henry darger was seemingly an ordinary man , a little eccentric perhaps but in essense inconsequential. born in 1892 he worked a janitor in chicago his entire adult life doing nothing out of the ordinary beyond attending mass five times a day on an almost daily basis .he died in 1973 friendless,peniless and was buried in a paupers grave .
but it was only when his landlord came to clear away for new tenants that he discovered the secret life of henry darger

amid a load of peculiar junk including hundreds of pepto bismol bottles , thousands of balls of twine and religous icons was henry dargers life work,some 19,000 pages of legal-sized paper filled with single-spaced typing entitled The Story of the Vivian Girls, in what is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion.

the story is about the seven vivian girls angelnian princesses who fight against the godless glandelinians who are godless ruthless child enslavers .
henry darger himself appears several times in the text sometimes as general darger who aids the girls or even as a glandelinian torturer but even more ascinating is the vast amount of paintings and drawings left behind to illustrate this epic

his work is full of strange idionsyncracies like the fact that he often drew his characters nude , and the vivian girls are often portrayed with small hairless penises . some think this is due to dargers poor grasp of anatomy
Much modern fascination with Darger concerns his portrayal of horrific brutality against children. For some reason, it is often assumed that Darger wrote and drew this way because he was enacting repressed subconscious desires

one strange detail I learned about after further research (which made me want to cry a little) is that he almost always drew the girls pupils with a lead pencil so by the light of a candle it would seem like their eyes were alive

I find this story fascinating because this man took the concept of an imaginary life to a completely different level . this was his “real” life . and the amount of effort he lavished in the creation of this world is just mind boggling

a taste of hebe

2006-10-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

i was cleaning out my drawers yesterday when i found the remants of my very ambitious poetry project . rather grandiosely entitled "songs of adolscence"
i was 13 when i started it, but as always life (and laziness)got in the way and i never finished it .
so for your amusement here are two of my darling grotesques as i affectionately term them.

dawn
1-
this dawn
so clear
like the spectrum on a glass
like an overturned paintbox
splashes of colour against the rapidly blueing canvas of sky
they overlap each other
each vying to boast their beauty
vain peacocks on a rose strewn path
the clouds float across the sky
like listless bloated sheep
their fleeces delicately tinged
by the tawny suns warm rays
see how it rises
beaming upon cold earth

2-
the birds outstretch their wings
and in gods heavens fly
while people walk on by
unaware of their artless beauty
they shuffle in the streets
their faces solemnly creased
and i wonder
if their souls ; like caged birds
yearn to be released
to devour the glories of this life
this banquet ,this feast

long distance friendship

only snippets of the whole remain
a friendship where nothing is to be lost or to be gained
reduced to the fundamentals
just plain talk and stories shared
no fights, loans
mingled tears and laughter
just advice about living and love
and we've gone on with that
curious thing-life
constant with the passing hours
regardless of our parting
love still persists
strange isnt it
our heats are bound only by words

the thing that gets me through the day

2006-09-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

when life threatens to overwhelm me i recall the following ditty
by the always brilliant dorothy parker

razors pain you
rivers are damp
acids stain you
and drugs cause cramp
guns arent lawful
nooses give
gas smells awful
you might as well live!

one reason i am vegeterian

2006-09-30T12:36:00.000-07:00

Living Graves

We are the living graves of murdered beasts
,Slaughtered to satisfy our appetites.
We never pause to wonder at our feasts,
If animals, like men, can possibly have rights.
We pray on Sundays that we may have light,
To guide our footsteps on the path we tread.
We're sick of war, we do not want to fight -
The thought of it now fills our hearts with dread,
And yet - we gorge ourselves upon the dead.
Like carrion crows we live and feed on meat,
Regardless of the suffering and the pain we cause by doing so,
if thus we treatdefenceless animals for sport or gain,
how can we hope in this world to attain,
the PEACE we say we are so anxious for.
We pray for it o'er hecatombs of slain,
to God, while outraging the moral law,
thus cruelty begets its offspring - WAR.

on the first day of ramadan my true love gave to me .....

2006-09-24T03:23:00.000-07:00

a scraped foot and a hungry belly!

S.O.S music festival

2006-09-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

due to sheer stupidity i forgot to blog about the marvellous time i had at the s.o.s music festival last friday
but since im feeling a little grumpy as i have to go disember a freakishly huge pumpikin/squash i'll keep it brief .
it was beautifully organized ,espeascially since it was a free event , the weather , hot as usual
the music : FAB (and not just because my friend omar plays drums for moodshift) (though he is wickedly good) .
to be honest it was just nice to dance around in the sunshine with congenial company . it was a lovely way to celebrate the (supposed) end of summer . check out beautiful creatures of the male species or just sunbathe
i heard they'll be repeating the event on a monthly basis , i strongly reccomend going espeacially if you are a constantly broke student such as myself

pscyhological damage

2006-09-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

Today i witnessed something of an extremely disturbing nature .
i was reading in the car waiting for maman to buy some last minute ramadan stuff
all was well in the world (relatively speaking) then this chap comes walking along with two of his friends a seemingly mundane sight , then suddenly he unbuckles , unzips etc.and puts his hand inside his pants to rearrange what the brits term his meat and two veg! i shit you not ! then rezips . all this while walking down the street ! his friends didnt even blink ! i repeat , i shit you not dear people
im not entirely lacking in empathy , i myself would find it disconcerting to have fleshy apendages dangling betwixt my legs all the time . But come on! there is a thing known as a public toilet , or even a seculded alleyway ! jeez!
if i were to rearrange my boobs in public there would be a hue and a cry and a possible lynching ! (not to mention a horde of rabid and sexually repressed men) but since its a bloke not a word was uttered !
i dont think i can bring myself to shake hands with a man after this incident

the moral of this sad little tale is ; gents keep your hands away from the vicinity of your phallus for fear of disturbing impressionable young ladies .

minor irritation

2006-09-19T15:20:00.000-07:00

a conversation between moi and s a new aquaintance

me- so tell me do you have a favorite book/books

s- of course the holy quran

me- you read it all?

s- ummmm no

me- hows it your favorite book then

s- (looks at me blankly) its the word of god

me - and ?

s- blushes and changes the conversation

honestly! is it just me or has piety become something of a fashion statement , please people dont go all smart ass and tell me your favorite book is the quran full stop

hebe's reasons why this is highly irritating and somewhat obnoxious

1- it seems to indicate you have not heard of another book let alone read one
2- the sickening holier -than-thou attitude people assume when they tell you that
3- if you dont like books just say it ! big deal but stupid and obvious pretense is just plain old irritating
4-the whole im -mentioning a religous topic hence you cannot argue or question it is dogma and hence to obeyed blindly. fuck you very much and have a lovely day you hell bound pysychopath

mind you if someone has read the entire koran and finds it to be truly to be a book to last several lifetimes . then kudos to you ! but its hard to take it from a silly empty headed little chit who has the cranial capacity of a walnut .

things i want(and will do!)

2006-09-11T05:19:00.000-07:00

have been feeling so terribly lazy about blogging so to motivate myself im going to make a list of skills i want to learn and things i want to do, in no particular prder

1- learn to belly dance like a pro
2- learn to play the drums( i used to play the violin but as i usually produced a sound akin to a cat being skinned alive i decided to quit) the drums seem less complicated
3-take a proper makeup course (i have the dexterity of a blind toad when it comes to makeup)
4-learn to sew so i can make at least one of my endless dress /clothing designs
5- learn spanish , portugese and Italian
reasons why :
spanish: me aimo those lovely latino chicos
portugese:relatively close to spanish so why the hell not
Italian: i love the opera , it would be nice to understand things without constantly refering to the program
6- improve my french so i can read les fleurs de mal and colette with ease
7- go bungee jumping
8- take more sailing courses
9- finish my very lengthy must read list
10- take art classes i dont think i'll rise above mediocrity when it comes to drawing but who knows
11- read more arabic novels(any suggestions?)
12- go on my grand cairene tour - i.e visit the lesser known historical monuments in cairo
13- volunteer for a charitable cause
14- buy my father the harley davidson hes always wanted
15- take my mother to India
16- try to find out what happened to my childhood friends in south africa
17-visit my friends in england and my best friend who is studying in yugoslavia
18- put a bouquet of lillies and sunflowers on the tomb of oscar wilde which is in the pere lachaise cemetry in paris
19- write my first novel before i turn 20
20- learn how to bake bread

what about you? what do you aspire to do?

an evening with ragheb alama

2006-09-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

are'nt i a lucky gal (occasionally life does come up trumps)
yesterday evening i was diniing avec daddy , little sis , dads best friend and his utterly adorable blonchen wife . we were ravenously wolfing down copious amounts of sushi
when lo and behold who do you think sits down at the table right next to us .
ragheb alama ! the lebanese singer
uncroyable eh non?
well my fathers pal happens to be in the foreign affairs ministry and knows our ambassador in lebanon who just happens to be to be a friend of M. Alama
so he lured him into a chat !
i must say he is a very charming man and very congenial company .
come to think of it he is the first lebanese person i have ever met .(interesting)
we talked about lebanon naturally . he kept encouraging us to visit soon saying things will perk up soon enough etc etc.
im not a huuuuge fan of his mind you . but his music is pleasant enough
an unexcpectedly pleasant evening

an interesting reason to quit being a vegetarian

2006-08-27T23:53:00.000-07:00

my vegetarianism never ceases to amaze all and sundry in egypt
i have been declared mentally ill , a maschoist , a fool (by people utterly lacking in subtlety i.e my beloved family )
a liar (because lets just say im rather generously proportioned ) amongst other things .
i was even asked once by that how is it it possible that i am christian and the rest of my family are muslims .
everyone i know is a food missionary seeking to help me see the light and return on the straight and narrow path of meat consumption .
and the other day a rather elderly friend of my grandmas gave me a rather novel reason to once again return to the ranks of the righteous .

charming elderly friend : ya habibti why dont you have a chicken wing

me: no thank you ya tante im vegetarian i dont eat meat of any sort

cef: vegetarian (nabateya) what does that mean anyway?

me: (my lengthy explaination of vegetarian ethos and values , why i became one etc etc)

cef: (putting hand on heart and generally acting scandalized) bas ya habibiti what are you going to do when youre married arent going to cook meat for your husband

me : ummm i dont know i really havent thought about it . i really dont think so though

cef: you should . and also men like to have their wives eat with them from the same dishes and feed them . you'll never get married if you dont start eating meat . youre in egypt ya habibti you have to forget this nonsense . now eat this chicken wing (after a long and lengthy struggle i convince her that if i eat it i will be violently and painfully sick , utterly miserable and other disagreeable things )
yes dear readers i must cease this nonsense , for my marital status is at stake (so saith the virtuous chicken brandishing crone) .
seriously im already sick of my husband whoever that stupid bastard is , he is a self righteous , intolerant,petty,meat gobbling moron and the source of much of my misery. my grandmother is now persisting in giving me lessons on how to cook various forms of dead animal flesh .

it seems im destined to live in a constant state of nausea

im going to start to start EVA (egyptian vegeterains anonymous ) to deal with this debilitating desire to not to eat animal corpses . and besides id love to trade stories with other vegeterians living in our meat worshipping society

so is there anybody out there?

so it seems i am a bimbo

2006-08-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

The Sandmonkey said...
Being the frontline in the war between the US and Iran, and being a shia powerhouse in the region!

evidently i did not express myself clearly . i meant that i fail to see what strategic good can come of this war in the short term (other than getting the prisoners back blah blah which seems like merely a excuse for warmongering ) except perhaps bothering israel which will in turn bother the Us which is iran's objective ( this is assuming that iran is backing hezbollah which is more than probable) but where can they go from here?
an attempted 'liberation' of israel ? the implantation of a shia government in lebanon? (civil war again? )in short how do they intend to become a"shia powerhouse " as the sandmonkey put it
ok they now have a huge fanbase in the mideast they are having praise heaped on them for military brilliance etc.. nothing seems predictiable as I see it

(not bewitched) just bewildered and bothered

2006-08-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

a small query ..........
perhaps im not watching the news closely enough but a certain point seems to elude me .
what does hezbollah want exactly?
i mean seriously do they have strategic motives in mind ? what exactly do they want ?
(asides from obliterating israel which sadly is not a novel desire in the middle east)
the shiaziation of lebanon? i honestly dont care if anyone declares me a bimbo but i'd seriously love to know

adolscent miseries

2006-08-17T16:34:00.000-07:00

life can truly be a grease slathered rusty bucket of shit sometimes
for the past week i have been battling with
1- the fact that i'll have to repeat my first term of law school because my arabic is crappy(first term is entirely in arabic) and because my mother imbued me with a concsience and hence i cannot cheat which sort of makes me mad because people twenty times more incomptent than iam managed to pass because they did cheat

2- a swollen eye which makes me look like something our of b-horror flick

3- the fact that said eye may have to be operated on if the swelling doesnt go down by the end of the week

4-i havent been paid for three months of work - im starting to get the disturbing feeling that im being ripped off because im 17 and hence people assume im naive and unlikely to ask for my rights

5- my arabic tutor is quite possibly beezlebub himself sans any form of panache or rakish charm just a vicious desire to make me as miserable as is possible

6- my mother wants me to reduce my current weight (66 kg) to (in my humble opinion) a slighty freakish 50 and has increased her nagging capacities hundredfold . the consumption of bread at this juncture is now considered to be worse than murder

oh well at least there is a ceasefire in lebanon though god knows how long that will last or if anything will come of it

sigh sigh sigh..........................................

on the agonies of being a temporary housewife

2006-08-01T05:29:00.000-07:00

thank god my mother is finally home !
for the past week i have been acting as surrogate mamma pour la famille because my perfect sometimes eerily like martha stewart mother had gone on a business trip .
suffice it to say i have developed a newfound respect for the creator of yellow kitchen gloves .
the amount of disgusting things one has to deal with on a daily basis to keep a house clean is disturbing .
just as my luck would have it my usually sloth like and constantly homebound sister had developed a new leaf and has started working part time in a nursery while taking an adavnced computer course at school so by the time she gets back home shes about as useful a bikini in the north pole .

a list of the things i had to do on a daily basis
1-wake up and quell the whinging creature in my head
2- taking washing off line
3- take out laundry from the night before to hang on line
4- wake sister and father
5-take a mallet to my sisters head so she'll actually wake up
6-avoid being pummeled to death by irritated sister
7- make coffee and tea for sister and father
8- after they leave tidy beds , pick up and fold sundry garments and generally sort rooms out
9- remove cups , overflowing ashtrays , bottles and other debris from living room
10- wash dishes and daydream about living on my own or with a compulsively clean roomate
11- clean greasy food encrusted stove
12- clean now revolting sink
13-take out trash
14-sweep kitchen floor
15- survey bathroom in dismay
16-consider having breakdown , contemplate drinking myself into oblivion
17-do neither and sigh resignedly
18 -wash bathroom sink
19- arm myself with toilet brush and soap in order to clean toilet(while gagging violently)
20- sort out the ridiculous amount of beauty products we have in shower stall
21- begin 'proper' work i.e writing articles , reading for arabic course etc.
22- realize that i havent made lunch
23- make some form of lunch (usually some sort of pasta a salad and kofta /escalope panee /something that can be defrosted and fried )
(excuse me for not being a cordon bleu chef!)
24-wash implements used for cooking
25- wash once again greasy food encrusted stove
26 -retreat to a darkened room where i can weep in a corner before the family arrives
27-warm pasta in microwave because it is now stone cold
28- after lunch/dinner wash dishes etc.
29- curse whoever decided to tile our kitchen floor with freaking beige tiles that show every single particle of dirt and grime and proceed to clean floor
30- finally am finished ! retire to bed with a good book of which i read about 10 sentences before totally zonking out .ake up disturbed in middle of night because i forgot to eitherturn offgas , set alarm or take washing off line
then there was that terrible tuesday when the cleaning lady came and my siter decided to throw a dinner party for her friends .
i had to dust , polish all my mothers antiques ,ornaments , television , sundry bookcases around the house , make sure the cleaning lady doesnt rob us , cook make frantic calls to my sister because some essential ingredient is missing , make pasta salad , fry samosas , make french bread (speacial request) , fry chicken and make other sundry salads then panic because i had nothing for the guests to drink , found lemons made lemonade .
im feeling frantic all over again just writing this
what a sad end to my bright feminist dreams
alas i have fallen prey to that terrible scrouge
domesticity!

losing my religion

2006-07-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

its times like these that make me want to give up not just on islam but organized religion in general . i'm so tired of the endless killing , the endless tears the endless misery . when will it stop? when nasrallah is dead ? according to the sandmonkey that doesnt mean the end of hizbuallah . when israel is scraped off the map ? that i think will never happen the israelis are too resilent .
funny that all this barbarity springs from religion ,
which is supposed to elevate the soul of man , to teach kindness and compassion and understanding . isn't religon about that ? isnt basically a moral code by which to live a decent and moral life ?
i no longer see any morality and to be frank decency is stone cold dead
i could never be an atheist as i do believe in the exsistence of some higher creator being . as it seems illogical that our twisted exsistence doesnt have some profounder purpose than fucking and murdering each other
at the moment agnosticism is begining to look very congenial
agnosticism is tolerant of others , no-one is an infidel /heathen doomed to the fiery brimstone scented bowels of hell
agnosticism leaves room to believe in a creator being and anything else in fact
agnosticism is intellectually honest - its main teachings are who knows? and its possible
tell me one evil thing done in the name of agnosticism ?
as for religon ....... countless
the spanish inquistion , the death of gandhi , sabra and shatila , the salem witch trials etc etc
and now lebanon .
this is a difficult time to believe but still im trying to cling to the tattered remants of my faith
on a lighter note if i go agnostic im not doomed if i have premarital sex !
and now tell me agnosticism is bad !

2006-07-21T03:12:00.000-07:00

"Let no one ever, from henceforth say one word in any way countenancing war.
It is dangerous even to speak of how here and there the individual may gain
some hardship of soul by it. For war is hell, and those who institute it
are criminals. Were there even anything to say for it, it should not be said;
for its spiritual disasters far outweigh any of its advantages." robert nichols

an apt poem

2006-07-21T02:50:00.000-07:00

anthem for doomed youth

what passing bells for those who died as cattle
only the monstrous anger of the guns
only the stuttering rifles rapid rattle
can patter out their hasty orisons
no mockeries now for them ;no prayers or bells
nor any voice of mourning save the choirs -
the shrill demented choirs of wailing shells;
and bugles calling for them in sad shires

what candles may be held to speed them all?
not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
shall shine the holy glimmer of goodbyes
the pallor of girls brows shall be their pall;
their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
and each slow dusk a drawing down of blinds

wilfred owen

disgust

2006-07-21T02:46:00.000-07:00

suddenly i feel disgust at myself at that last post
i mean how can i be so terribly trivial at a time like this , so petty
but i cant post political posts . what else can i possibly add to the deluge of brilliant inteprtations and predictions .
but you cant help laughing at the little sillinesses of your own life

my dearest family

2006-07-20T15:19:00.001-07:00

my best beloveds
despite the fact you are the prop of my oterwise miserable exsistence ,i feel disinclined to like you when when you force me to do things that are akin to chinese torture
i.e washing the juicer after you have made something like a litre of grape juice
the prime perpetrator of this travesty upon my sanity is ..... papa
do you realize ma chere how impossibbly revolting it is to empty the dispenser of a mass of pulpy grape remants that are somewhat remiscent of troll poo.
but you must realise its not just that , do you realize how many peculiar jigmabobs a juicer contains ? all needing to be washed and dried most carefully so our tongues dont fall out the next time we metamorph into health freaks (which is lasts for about a day) . moreover i have to clean the sink because after the intense scrubbing session it takes on the appearance of a petri dish with samples of alien life forms. and of all chores in the world that has to be the most digusting.
and then mummy will come and critique ever single movement related to the cleansing process
and thus make me doubly miserable
and naturelment my lovely sis will have conveniently vanished to unknown regions .
god i hate washing the juicer!

futile me

2006-07-19T14:00:00.000-07:00

i just read in robas blog about the peaceful demonstration in amman for lebapn/palestine
i'd really love to organize something here in cairo
but im just a blip in the blogosphere an alien life form trying to make contact
what is me to do?
im no sandmonkey!
if anyone does hear of anything that is peaceful in the extreme
please tell me
i just need to do something

la pauvre

2006-07-19T03:32:00.000-07:00

lebanon......
I've never been there , I've never met anyone from lebanon
but nonetheless i fell in love with the idea of the place , of images
i like to think of the people there as being something akin to the glamorous parisenes of collettes novels .
tasteful , charming exquisite , but nontheless suffering an identity crisis (as is most of the middleeast)
perhaps these are merely the stupidities of an overly romantic adolscent
but its so unjust ,so unfair what is happening
why does an entire country have to pay for a few peoples mistakes .
this is eerily like what happened in the first world war
just for the death of one prince .... countries were engulfed in the madness of a war
but can one put an equation on human lives ?
are 8 israelis worth hundreds of lebanese ?
is the death of hassan nasrallah worth hundreds of israelis?
our so called leaders seem so terribly distant from us , goernments have become monolithic entities without souls just endlessly cranking out stastics .
this post isnt exactly coherent but i feel so terribly dazed and unbelieving
i cant believe that humanity is still this stupid
i cant believe we still think that the death of others is the solution to our problems
i refuse to believe it .
and i go on living , eating , reading , watching television
while girls like me are suffering
will i ever walk the streets of beirut?
really come to know lebanon
will i ever walk the streets of a peaceful israel and palestine ?
as most of humankind has for millenia
i can only dream of an ideal tommorrow

my current romance

2006-07-10T17:03:00.002-07:00

now i go to films alone
watch a silent telephone
send myself a valentine
whisper softly "I am mine"

dorothy parker
"men , who needs them?"

the orgasmic effect of andrea bocelli

2006-07-08T04:54:00.000-07:00

what is it about this mans voice ?
It has such a potent effect on me , I could just spend days on end listening to him
closing my eyes and losing myself in the divine modulations and tones of it, the exquisite crescendos and caressing dimiuendos . i feel strangely like a ball bobbing gently in water. its so strangely thrilling to catch his almost imperceptible intake of breath as he ascends higher higher higher.......
oh god and when he sings la boheme, i just want to cry, its torturously wonderful . puccinis music and andreas voice ...... its like being one of the mortal lovers of zeus , dominated irresistibly and ravished .
just imagine having that voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear
i'd simply combust.
sigh

and so I begin ......

2006-07-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

my dear citizens of the known universe
I present to you moi , an egyptian of the fair sex (though not exceptionally fair myself)
among many other things an extremely bad law student , a journalist , aspiring writer, OSCAR WILDE obssesive (his hallowed name may only be written in capitals) and possibly the only vegetarian egyptian to tread nocturnally exquisite cairene streets . your typical dreamer and terrible glutton . i decided to start a blog partly to amuse myself ,amuse others and naturelement vent my exsistential frustration . please enjoy the ensuing madness

adieu