Monday, October 30, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
my life as the molested
after reading forsoothsayers post about the eid gropings/rapes i was utterly unsuprised espeacially after what happened to my sister but incredibly saddened . saddened this society is living a grand pretense . that we are pious and chaste and safe , when really we are no better than cavemen or animals.
here are a few of my memories
I remember the very first time i was physically molested . it was just after my 14th birthday
i was at the annual international bookfair which is a very important part of the year for me
as armed with the entire years savings plus birthday money i stock up on books for the winter
i was bending over a pile of books in the ahram tent when someone pinched my ass .
my god how violated i felt , i spent the rest of that evening with the my hands behind my back
so my hefty plastic bags of books would protect my derriere . i made a rather silly picture i suppose but it was only in that uncomfortable pose did i feel somewhat safe .
i remember the creepiest verbal molestation i ever got . i was walking abbas el akkad with my best friend Y . then this chap in a battered old ford fiesta yells out to us
if i could get at either of your boobs i'd cut them off !
i remeber us stoping in our tracks unbelieving someone could say such a thing
i remember walking along with my sister and her friend one day when a couple of morons in a car started yelling out the usual bullshit and my sisters friend giving them the finger
they came out and started threatning us because she had the audacity to swear at them
this are a few scenes from my life and they are typical of the life of any girl in egypt
what do i think ? how do i feel
i'll leave you to to imagine what i think and how i feel
here are a few of my memories
I remember the very first time i was physically molested . it was just after my 14th birthday
i was at the annual international bookfair which is a very important part of the year for me
as armed with the entire years savings plus birthday money i stock up on books for the winter
i was bending over a pile of books in the ahram tent when someone pinched my ass .
my god how violated i felt , i spent the rest of that evening with the my hands behind my back
so my hefty plastic bags of books would protect my derriere . i made a rather silly picture i suppose but it was only in that uncomfortable pose did i feel somewhat safe .
i remember the creepiest verbal molestation i ever got . i was walking abbas el akkad with my best friend Y . then this chap in a battered old ford fiesta yells out to us
if i could get at either of your boobs i'd cut them off !
i remeber us stoping in our tracks unbelieving someone could say such a thing
i remember walking along with my sister and her friend one day when a couple of morons in a car started yelling out the usual bullshit and my sisters friend giving them the finger
they came out and started threatning us because she had the audacity to swear at them
this are a few scenes from my life and they are typical of the life of any girl in egypt
what do i think ? how do i feel
i'll leave you to to imagine what i think and how i feel
Saturday, October 07, 2006
a warning to all (espeacially in nasr city area)
oh what a horrid day this has been !
my sister was at home alone today when a chap comes up with the bawabs son . he says he's come to look at the gas meter etc etc. seems safe enough .
anyway he goes into the kitchen and peers at it then asks my sister for a chair to look at it closer, while she is doing this he grabs her hips and tries to kiss her ! my sister didnt lose her cooland punched him and then shoved him out . the dumbass bawabs son just stood there and let the man go! my poor sister is still terribly shaken .
anyhow if anyone claims to be the gas meter reader ask him to show his id . and if he says he works for a private company . the he's a thief/conman/potential rapist be espeacially careful if you live in the nasr city area cos thats where that bastard and his gang is still on the prowl
its fucking unbelievable
my sister was at home alone today when a chap comes up with the bawabs son . he says he's come to look at the gas meter etc etc. seems safe enough .
anyway he goes into the kitchen and peers at it then asks my sister for a chair to look at it closer, while she is doing this he grabs her hips and tries to kiss her ! my sister didnt lose her cooland punched him and then shoved him out . the dumbass bawabs son just stood there and let the man go! my poor sister is still terribly shaken .
anyhow if anyone claims to be the gas meter reader ask him to show his id . and if he says he works for a private company . the he's a thief/conman/potential rapist be espeacially careful if you live in the nasr city area cos thats where that bastard and his gang is still on the prowl
its fucking unbelievable
Friday, October 06, 2006
Unveiled
a short poem in prose a la oscar wilde
my sisters who chose to shroud yourself whilst living or simply to hide your hair with rainbow colored scarves I want you to understand why i will never join the ranks of the modest and the chaste (if this is how you perceive yourself) so you may leave me to live the life i have choosen for myself though you may see it as a wayof paving a path to everlasting doom.
if i wear the burqa /niqab there is so much i deny myself that makes life beautiful . i will not feel breezes caress my face and hair , or truly feel the warmth of the suns rays though this very same sun renders my coverings unbearable . I will not be able to swim in the sea and feel the waves buffet my body playfully , i wont be able to really feel the tang of its salty breath upon my tongue . all these things that sing of the beauty of God will be denied to me .
dear sisters you forget that our bodies are not simply anothers pleasure, but servants of our soul
our legs were given to us to walk upon the earth, our arms for work and toil and our breasts to nourish our children
should we deny ourselves much of lifes joys because of mens lust ? but do we not lust ourselves
and long and yearn but strangely men do not cloak themselves from our gaze .
i do not deny you the right to do what you consider to be right and virtous but please tolerate me and do not condemn me simply because i am not dressed like you . all souls are equal in the sight of God and should be in the sight of men and women.
so leave me be as i do you
my sisters who chose to shroud yourself whilst living or simply to hide your hair with rainbow colored scarves I want you to understand why i will never join the ranks of the modest and the chaste (if this is how you perceive yourself) so you may leave me to live the life i have choosen for myself though you may see it as a wayof paving a path to everlasting doom.
if i wear the burqa /niqab there is so much i deny myself that makes life beautiful . i will not feel breezes caress my face and hair , or truly feel the warmth of the suns rays though this very same sun renders my coverings unbearable . I will not be able to swim in the sea and feel the waves buffet my body playfully , i wont be able to really feel the tang of its salty breath upon my tongue . all these things that sing of the beauty of God will be denied to me .
dear sisters you forget that our bodies are not simply anothers pleasure, but servants of our soul
our legs were given to us to walk upon the earth, our arms for work and toil and our breasts to nourish our children
should we deny ourselves much of lifes joys because of mens lust ? but do we not lust ourselves
and long and yearn but strangely men do not cloak themselves from our gaze .
i do not deny you the right to do what you consider to be right and virtous but please tolerate me and do not condemn me simply because i am not dressed like you . all souls are equal in the sight of God and should be in the sight of men and women.
so leave me be as i do you
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
a life strangely lived
about a year ago I was flipping through an art magazine when i found an article about a documentary called "in the realm of the unreal" about an "outsider" artist called henry darger, i found his story and his art strangely compeling .
henry darger was seemingly an ordinary man , a little eccentric perhaps but in essense inconsequential. born in 1892 he worked a janitor in chicago his entire adult life doing nothing out of the ordinary beyond attending mass five times a day on an almost daily basis .he died in 1973 friendless,peniless and was buried in a paupers grave .
but it was only when his landlord came to clear away for new tenants that he discovered the secret life of henry darger
amid a load of peculiar junk including hundreds of pepto bismol bottles , thousands of balls of twine and religous icons was henry dargers life work,some 19,000 pages of legal-sized paper filled with single-spaced typing entitled The Story of the Vivian Girls, in what is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion.
the story is about the seven vivian girls angelnian princesses who fight against the godless glandelinians who are godless ruthless child enslavers .
henry darger himself appears several times in the text sometimes as general darger who aids the girls or even as a glandelinian torturer but even more ascinating is the vast amount of paintings and drawings left behind to illustrate this epic
his work is full of strange idionsyncracies like the fact that he often drew his characters nude , and the vivian girls are often portrayed with small hairless penises . some think this is due to dargers poor grasp of anatomy
Much modern fascination with Darger concerns his portrayal of horrific brutality against children. For some reason, it is often assumed that Darger wrote and drew this way because he was enacting repressed subconscious desires
one strange detail I learned about after further research (which made me want to cry a little) is that he almost always drew the girls pupils with a lead pencil so by the light of a candle it would seem like their eyes were alive
I find this story fascinating because this man took the concept of an imaginary life to a completely different level . this was his “real” life . and the amount of effort he lavished in the creation of this world is just mind boggling
Sunday, October 01, 2006
a taste of hebe
i was cleaning out my drawers yesterday when i found the remants of my very ambitious poetry project . rather grandiosely entitled "songs of adolscence"
i was 13 when i started it, but as always life (and laziness)got in the way and i never finished it .
so for your amusement here are two of my darling grotesques as i affectionately term them.
dawn
1-
this dawn
so clear
like the spectrum on a glass
like an overturned paintbox
splashes of colour against the rapidly blueing canvas of sky
they overlap each other
each vying to boast their beauty
vain peacocks on a rose strewn path
the clouds float across the sky
like listless bloated sheep
their fleeces delicately tinged
by the tawny suns warm rays
see how it rises
beaming upon cold earth
2-
the birds outstretch their wings
and in gods heavens fly
while people walk on by
unaware of their artless beauty
they shuffle in the streets
their faces solemnly creased
and i wonder
if their souls ; like caged birds
yearn to be released
to devour the glories of this life
this banquet ,this feast
long distance friendship
only snippets of the whole remain
a friendship where nothing is to be lost or to be gained
reduced to the fundamentals
just plain talk and stories shared
no fights, loans
mingled tears and laughter
just advice about living and love
and we've gone on with that
curious thing-life
constant with the passing hours
regardless of our parting
love still persists
strange isnt it
our heats are bound only by words
i was 13 when i started it, but as always life (and laziness)got in the way and i never finished it .
so for your amusement here are two of my darling grotesques as i affectionately term them.
dawn
1-
this dawn
so clear
like the spectrum on a glass
like an overturned paintbox
splashes of colour against the rapidly blueing canvas of sky
they overlap each other
each vying to boast their beauty
vain peacocks on a rose strewn path
the clouds float across the sky
like listless bloated sheep
their fleeces delicately tinged
by the tawny suns warm rays
see how it rises
beaming upon cold earth
2-
the birds outstretch their wings
and in gods heavens fly
while people walk on by
unaware of their artless beauty
they shuffle in the streets
their faces solemnly creased
and i wonder
if their souls ; like caged birds
yearn to be released
to devour the glories of this life
this banquet ,this feast
long distance friendship
only snippets of the whole remain
a friendship where nothing is to be lost or to be gained
reduced to the fundamentals
just plain talk and stories shared
no fights, loans
mingled tears and laughter
just advice about living and love
and we've gone on with that
curious thing-life
constant with the passing hours
regardless of our parting
love still persists
strange isnt it
our heats are bound only by words
Saturday, September 30, 2006
the thing that gets me through the day
when life threatens to overwhelm me i recall the following ditty
by the always brilliant dorothy parker
razors pain you
rivers are damp
acids stain you
and drugs cause cramp
guns arent lawful
nooses give
gas smells awful
you might as well live!
by the always brilliant dorothy parker
razors pain you
rivers are damp
acids stain you
and drugs cause cramp
guns arent lawful
nooses give
gas smells awful
you might as well live!
one reason i am vegeterian
Living Graves
We are the living graves of murdered beasts
,Slaughtered to satisfy our appetites.
We never pause to wonder at our feasts,
If animals, like men, can possibly have rights.
We pray on Sundays that we may have light,
To guide our footsteps on the path we tread.
We're sick of war, we do not want to fight -
The thought of it now fills our hearts with dread,
And yet - we gorge ourselves upon the dead.
Like carrion crows we live and feed on meat,
Regardless of the suffering and the pain we cause by doing so,
if thus we treatdefenceless animals for sport or gain,
how can we hope in this world to attain,
the PEACE we say we are so anxious for.
We pray for it o'er hecatombs of slain,
to God, while outraging the moral law,
thus cruelty begets its offspring - WAR.
We are the living graves of murdered beasts
,Slaughtered to satisfy our appetites.
We never pause to wonder at our feasts,
If animals, like men, can possibly have rights.
We pray on Sundays that we may have light,
To guide our footsteps on the path we tread.
We're sick of war, we do not want to fight -
The thought of it now fills our hearts with dread,
And yet - we gorge ourselves upon the dead.
Like carrion crows we live and feed on meat,
Regardless of the suffering and the pain we cause by doing so,
if thus we treatdefenceless animals for sport or gain,
how can we hope in this world to attain,
the PEACE we say we are so anxious for.
We pray for it o'er hecatombs of slain,
to God, while outraging the moral law,
thus cruelty begets its offspring - WAR.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
S.O.S music festival
due to sheer stupidity i forgot to blog about the marvellous time i had at the s.o.s music festival last friday
but since im feeling a little grumpy as i have to go disember a freakishly huge pumpikin/squash i'll keep it brief .
it was beautifully organized ,espeascially since it was a free event , the weather , hot as usual
the music : FAB (and not just because my friend omar plays drums for moodshift) (though he is wickedly good) .
to be honest it was just nice to dance around in the sunshine with congenial company . it was a lovely way to celebrate the (supposed) end of summer . check out beautiful creatures of the male species or just sunbathe
i heard they'll be repeating the event on a monthly basis , i strongly reccomend going espeacially if you are a constantly broke student such as myself
but since im feeling a little grumpy as i have to go disember a freakishly huge pumpikin/squash i'll keep it brief .
it was beautifully organized ,espeascially since it was a free event , the weather , hot as usual
the music : FAB (and not just because my friend omar plays drums for moodshift) (though he is wickedly good) .
to be honest it was just nice to dance around in the sunshine with congenial company . it was a lovely way to celebrate the (supposed) end of summer . check out beautiful creatures of the male species or just sunbathe
i heard they'll be repeating the event on a monthly basis , i strongly reccomend going espeacially if you are a constantly broke student such as myself
pscyhological damage
Today i witnessed something of an extremely disturbing nature .
i was reading in the car waiting for maman to buy some last minute ramadan stuff
all was well in the world (relatively speaking) then this chap comes walking along with two of his friends a seemingly mundane sight , then suddenly he unbuckles , unzips etc.and puts his hand inside his pants to rearrange what the brits term his meat and two veg! i shit you not ! then rezips . all this while walking down the street ! his friends didnt even blink ! i repeat , i shit you not dear people
im not entirely lacking in empathy , i myself would find it disconcerting to have fleshy apendages dangling betwixt my legs all the time . But come on! there is a thing known as a public toilet , or even a seculded alleyway ! jeez!
if i were to rearrange my boobs in public there would be a hue and a cry and a possible lynching ! (not to mention a horde of rabid and sexually repressed men) but since its a bloke not a word was uttered !
i dont think i can bring myself to shake hands with a man after this incident
the moral of this sad little tale is ; gents keep your hands away from the vicinity of your phallus for fear of disturbing impressionable young ladies .
i was reading in the car waiting for maman to buy some last minute ramadan stuff
all was well in the world (relatively speaking) then this chap comes walking along with two of his friends a seemingly mundane sight , then suddenly he unbuckles , unzips etc.and puts his hand inside his pants to rearrange what the brits term his meat and two veg! i shit you not ! then rezips . all this while walking down the street ! his friends didnt even blink ! i repeat , i shit you not dear people
im not entirely lacking in empathy , i myself would find it disconcerting to have fleshy apendages dangling betwixt my legs all the time . But come on! there is a thing known as a public toilet , or even a seculded alleyway ! jeez!
if i were to rearrange my boobs in public there would be a hue and a cry and a possible lynching ! (not to mention a horde of rabid and sexually repressed men) but since its a bloke not a word was uttered !
i dont think i can bring myself to shake hands with a man after this incident
the moral of this sad little tale is ; gents keep your hands away from the vicinity of your phallus for fear of disturbing impressionable young ladies .
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
minor irritation
a conversation between moi and s a new aquaintance
me- so tell me do you have a favorite book/books
s- of course the holy quran
me- you read it all?
s- ummmm no
me- hows it your favorite book then
s- (looks at me blankly) its the word of god
me - and ?
s- blushes and changes the conversation
honestly! is it just me or has piety become something of a fashion statement , please people dont go all smart ass and tell me your favorite book is the quran full stop
hebe's reasons why this is highly irritating and somewhat obnoxious
1- it seems to indicate you have not heard of another book let alone read one
2- the sickening holier -than-thou attitude people assume when they tell you that
3- if you dont like books just say it ! big deal but stupid and obvious pretense is just plain old irritating
4-the whole im -mentioning a religous topic hence you cannot argue or question it is dogma and hence to obeyed blindly. fuck you very much and have a lovely day you hell bound pysychopath
mind you if someone has read the entire koran and finds it to be truly to be a book to last several lifetimes . then kudos to you ! but its hard to take it from a silly empty headed little chit who has the cranial capacity of a walnut .
me- so tell me do you have a favorite book/books
s- of course the holy quran
me- you read it all?
s- ummmm no
me- hows it your favorite book then
s- (looks at me blankly) its the word of god
me - and ?
s- blushes and changes the conversation
honestly! is it just me or has piety become something of a fashion statement , please people dont go all smart ass and tell me your favorite book is the quran full stop
hebe's reasons why this is highly irritating and somewhat obnoxious
1- it seems to indicate you have not heard of another book let alone read one
2- the sickening holier -than-thou attitude people assume when they tell you that
3- if you dont like books just say it ! big deal but stupid and obvious pretense is just plain old irritating
4-the whole im -mentioning a religous topic hence you cannot argue or question it is dogma and hence to obeyed blindly. fuck you very much and have a lovely day you hell bound pysychopath
mind you if someone has read the entire koran and finds it to be truly to be a book to last several lifetimes . then kudos to you ! but its hard to take it from a silly empty headed little chit who has the cranial capacity of a walnut .
Monday, September 11, 2006
things i want(and will do!)
have been feeling so terribly lazy about blogging so to motivate myself im going to make a list of skills i want to learn and things i want to do, in no particular prder
1- learn to belly dance like a pro
2- learn to play the drums( i used to play the violin but as i usually produced a sound akin to a cat being skinned alive i decided to quit) the drums seem less complicated
3-take a proper makeup course (i have the dexterity of a blind toad when it comes to makeup)
4-learn to sew so i can make at least one of my endless dress /clothing designs
5- learn spanish , portugese and Italian
reasons why :
spanish: me aimo those lovely latino chicos
portugese:relatively close to spanish so why the hell not
Italian: i love the opera , it would be nice to understand things without constantly refering to the program
6- improve my french so i can read les fleurs de mal and colette with ease
7- go bungee jumping
8- take more sailing courses
9- finish my very lengthy must read list
10- take art classes i dont think i'll rise above mediocrity when it comes to drawing but who knows
11- read more arabic novels(any suggestions?)
12- go on my grand cairene tour - i.e visit the lesser known historical monuments in cairo
13- volunteer for a charitable cause
14- buy my father the harley davidson hes always wanted
15- take my mother to India
16- try to find out what happened to my childhood friends in south africa
17-visit my friends in england and my best friend who is studying in yugoslavia
18- put a bouquet of lillies and sunflowers on the tomb of oscar wilde which is in the pere lachaise cemetry in paris
19- write my first novel before i turn 20
20- learn how to bake bread
what about you? what do you aspire to do?
1- learn to belly dance like a pro
2- learn to play the drums( i used to play the violin but as i usually produced a sound akin to a cat being skinned alive i decided to quit) the drums seem less complicated
3-take a proper makeup course (i have the dexterity of a blind toad when it comes to makeup)
4-learn to sew so i can make at least one of my endless dress /clothing designs
5- learn spanish , portugese and Italian
reasons why :
spanish: me aimo those lovely latino chicos
portugese:relatively close to spanish so why the hell not
Italian: i love the opera , it would be nice to understand things without constantly refering to the program
6- improve my french so i can read les fleurs de mal and colette with ease
7- go bungee jumping
8- take more sailing courses
9- finish my very lengthy must read list
10- take art classes i dont think i'll rise above mediocrity when it comes to drawing but who knows
11- read more arabic novels(any suggestions?)
12- go on my grand cairene tour - i.e visit the lesser known historical monuments in cairo
13- volunteer for a charitable cause
14- buy my father the harley davidson hes always wanted
15- take my mother to India
16- try to find out what happened to my childhood friends in south africa
17-visit my friends in england and my best friend who is studying in yugoslavia
18- put a bouquet of lillies and sunflowers on the tomb of oscar wilde which is in the pere lachaise cemetry in paris
19- write my first novel before i turn 20
20- learn how to bake bread
what about you? what do you aspire to do?
Saturday, September 02, 2006
an evening with ragheb alama
are'nt i a lucky gal (occasionally life does come up trumps)
yesterday evening i was diniing avec daddy , little sis , dads best friend and his utterly adorable blonchen wife . we were ravenously wolfing down copious amounts of sushi
when lo and behold who do you think sits down at the table right next to us .
ragheb alama ! the lebanese singer
uncroyable eh non?
well my fathers pal happens to be in the foreign affairs ministry and knows our ambassador in lebanon who just happens to be to be a friend of M. Alama
so he lured him into a chat !
i must say he is a very charming man and very congenial company .
come to think of it he is the first lebanese person i have ever met .(interesting)
we talked about lebanon naturally . he kept encouraging us to visit soon saying things will perk up soon enough etc etc.
im not a huuuuge fan of his mind you . but his music is pleasant enough
an unexcpectedly pleasant evening
yesterday evening i was diniing avec daddy , little sis , dads best friend and his utterly adorable blonchen wife . we were ravenously wolfing down copious amounts of sushi
when lo and behold who do you think sits down at the table right next to us .
ragheb alama ! the lebanese singer
uncroyable eh non?
well my fathers pal happens to be in the foreign affairs ministry and knows our ambassador in lebanon who just happens to be to be a friend of M. Alama
so he lured him into a chat !
i must say he is a very charming man and very congenial company .
come to think of it he is the first lebanese person i have ever met .(interesting)
we talked about lebanon naturally . he kept encouraging us to visit soon saying things will perk up soon enough etc etc.
im not a huuuuge fan of his mind you . but his music is pleasant enough
an unexcpectedly pleasant evening
Sunday, August 27, 2006
an interesting reason to quit being a vegetarian
my vegetarianism never ceases to amaze all and sundry in egypt
i have been declared mentally ill , a maschoist , a fool (by people utterly lacking in subtlety i.e my beloved family )
a liar (because lets just say im rather generously proportioned ) amongst other things .
i was even asked once by that how is it it possible that i am christian and the rest of my family are muslims .
everyone i know is a food missionary seeking to help me see the light and return on the straight and narrow path of meat consumption .
and the other day a rather elderly friend of my grandmas gave me a rather novel reason to once again return to the ranks of the righteous .
charming elderly friend : ya habibti why dont you have a chicken wing
me: no thank you ya tante im vegetarian i dont eat meat of any sort
cef: vegetarian (nabateya) what does that mean anyway?
me: (my lengthy explaination of vegetarian ethos and values , why i became one etc etc)
cef: (putting hand on heart and generally acting scandalized) bas ya habibiti what are you going to do when youre married arent going to cook meat for your husband
me : ummm i dont know i really havent thought about it . i really dont think so though
cef: you should . and also men like to have their wives eat with them from the same dishes and feed them . you'll never get married if you dont start eating meat . youre in egypt ya habibti you have to forget this nonsense . now eat this chicken wing (after a long and lengthy struggle i convince her that if i eat it i will be violently and painfully sick , utterly miserable and other disagreeable things )
yes dear readers i must cease this nonsense , for my marital status is at stake (so saith the virtuous chicken brandishing crone) .
seriously im already sick of my husband whoever that stupid bastard is , he is a self righteous , intolerant,petty,meat gobbling moron and the source of much of my misery. my grandmother is now persisting in giving me lessons on how to cook various forms of dead animal flesh .
it seems im destined to live in a constant state of nausea
im going to start to start EVA (egyptian vegeterains anonymous ) to deal with this debilitating desire to not to eat animal corpses . and besides id love to trade stories with other vegeterians living in our meat worshipping society
so is there anybody out there?
i have been declared mentally ill , a maschoist , a fool (by people utterly lacking in subtlety i.e my beloved family )
a liar (because lets just say im rather generously proportioned ) amongst other things .
i was even asked once by that how is it it possible that i am christian and the rest of my family are muslims .
everyone i know is a food missionary seeking to help me see the light and return on the straight and narrow path of meat consumption .
and the other day a rather elderly friend of my grandmas gave me a rather novel reason to once again return to the ranks of the righteous .
charming elderly friend : ya habibti why dont you have a chicken wing
me: no thank you ya tante im vegetarian i dont eat meat of any sort
cef: vegetarian (nabateya) what does that mean anyway?
me: (my lengthy explaination of vegetarian ethos and values , why i became one etc etc)
cef: (putting hand on heart and generally acting scandalized) bas ya habibiti what are you going to do when youre married arent going to cook meat for your husband
me : ummm i dont know i really havent thought about it . i really dont think so though
cef: you should . and also men like to have their wives eat with them from the same dishes and feed them . you'll never get married if you dont start eating meat . youre in egypt ya habibti you have to forget this nonsense . now eat this chicken wing (after a long and lengthy struggle i convince her that if i eat it i will be violently and painfully sick , utterly miserable and other disagreeable things )
yes dear readers i must cease this nonsense , for my marital status is at stake (so saith the virtuous chicken brandishing crone) .
seriously im already sick of my husband whoever that stupid bastard is , he is a self righteous , intolerant,petty,meat gobbling moron and the source of much of my misery. my grandmother is now persisting in giving me lessons on how to cook various forms of dead animal flesh .
it seems im destined to live in a constant state of nausea
im going to start to start EVA (egyptian vegeterains anonymous ) to deal with this debilitating desire to not to eat animal corpses . and besides id love to trade stories with other vegeterians living in our meat worshipping society
so is there anybody out there?
so it seems i am a bimbo
The Sandmonkey said...
Being the frontline in the war between the US and Iran, and being a shia powerhouse in the region!
evidently i did not express myself clearly . i meant that i fail to see what strategic good can come of this war in the short term (other than getting the prisoners back blah blah which seems like merely a excuse for warmongering ) except perhaps bothering israel which will in turn bother the Us which is iran's objective ( this is assuming that iran is backing hezbollah which is more than probable) but where can they go from here?
an attempted 'liberation' of israel ? the implantation of a shia government in lebanon? (civil war again? )in short how do they intend to become a"shia powerhouse " as the sandmonkey put it
ok they now have a huge fanbase in the mideast they are having praise heaped on them for military brilliance etc.. nothing seems predictiable as I see it
Being the frontline in the war between the US and Iran, and being a shia powerhouse in the region!
evidently i did not express myself clearly . i meant that i fail to see what strategic good can come of this war in the short term (other than getting the prisoners back blah blah which seems like merely a excuse for warmongering ) except perhaps bothering israel which will in turn bother the Us which is iran's objective ( this is assuming that iran is backing hezbollah which is more than probable) but where can they go from here?
an attempted 'liberation' of israel ? the implantation of a shia government in lebanon? (civil war again? )in short how do they intend to become a"shia powerhouse " as the sandmonkey put it
ok they now have a huge fanbase in the mideast they are having praise heaped on them for military brilliance etc.. nothing seems predictiable as I see it
Thursday, August 24, 2006
(not bewitched) just bewildered and bothered
a small query ..........
perhaps im not watching the news closely enough but a certain point seems to elude me .
what does hezbollah want exactly?
i mean seriously do they have strategic motives in mind ? what exactly do they want ?
(asides from obliterating israel which sadly is not a novel desire in the middle east)
the shiaziation of lebanon? i honestly dont care if anyone declares me a bimbo but i'd seriously love to know
perhaps im not watching the news closely enough but a certain point seems to elude me .
what does hezbollah want exactly?
i mean seriously do they have strategic motives in mind ? what exactly do they want ?
(asides from obliterating israel which sadly is not a novel desire in the middle east)
the shiaziation of lebanon? i honestly dont care if anyone declares me a bimbo but i'd seriously love to know
Thursday, August 17, 2006
adolscent miseries
life can truly be a grease slathered rusty bucket of shit sometimes
for the past week i have been battling with
1- the fact that i'll have to repeat my first term of law school because my arabic is crappy(first term is entirely in arabic) and because my mother imbued me with a concsience and hence i cannot cheat which sort of makes me mad because people twenty times more incomptent than iam managed to pass because they did cheat
2- a swollen eye which makes me look like something our of b-horror flick
3- the fact that said eye may have to be operated on if the swelling doesnt go down by the end of the week
4-i havent been paid for three months of work - im starting to get the disturbing feeling that im being ripped off because im 17 and hence people assume im naive and unlikely to ask for my rights
5- my arabic tutor is quite possibly beezlebub himself sans any form of panache or rakish charm just a vicious desire to make me as miserable as is possible
6- my mother wants me to reduce my current weight (66 kg) to (in my humble opinion) a slighty freakish 50 and has increased her nagging capacities hundredfold . the consumption of bread at this juncture is now considered to be worse than murder
oh well at least there is a ceasefire in lebanon though god knows how long that will last or if anything will come of it
sigh sigh sigh..........................................
for the past week i have been battling with
1- the fact that i'll have to repeat my first term of law school because my arabic is crappy(first term is entirely in arabic) and because my mother imbued me with a concsience and hence i cannot cheat which sort of makes me mad because people twenty times more incomptent than iam managed to pass because they did cheat
2- a swollen eye which makes me look like something our of b-horror flick
3- the fact that said eye may have to be operated on if the swelling doesnt go down by the end of the week
4-i havent been paid for three months of work - im starting to get the disturbing feeling that im being ripped off because im 17 and hence people assume im naive and unlikely to ask for my rights
5- my arabic tutor is quite possibly beezlebub himself sans any form of panache or rakish charm just a vicious desire to make me as miserable as is possible
6- my mother wants me to reduce my current weight (66 kg) to (in my humble opinion) a slighty freakish 50 and has increased her nagging capacities hundredfold . the consumption of bread at this juncture is now considered to be worse than murder
oh well at least there is a ceasefire in lebanon though god knows how long that will last or if anything will come of it
sigh sigh sigh..........................................
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
on the agonies of being a temporary housewife
thank god my mother is finally home !
for the past week i have been acting as surrogate mamma pour la famille because my perfect sometimes eerily like martha stewart mother had gone on a business trip .
suffice it to say i have developed a newfound respect for the creator of yellow kitchen gloves .
the amount of disgusting things one has to deal with on a daily basis to keep a house clean is disturbing .
just as my luck would have it my usually sloth like and constantly homebound sister had developed a new leaf and has started working part time in a nursery while taking an adavnced computer course at school so by the time she gets back home shes about as useful a bikini in the north pole .
a list of the things i had to do on a daily basis
1-wake up and quell the whinging creature in my head
2- taking washing off line
3- take out laundry from the night before to hang on line
4- wake sister and father
5-take a mallet to my sisters head so she'll actually wake up
6-avoid being pummeled to death by irritated sister
7- make coffee and tea for sister and father
8- after they leave tidy beds , pick up and fold sundry garments and generally sort rooms out
9- remove cups , overflowing ashtrays , bottles and other debris from living room
10- wash dishes and daydream about living on my own or with a compulsively clean roomate
11- clean greasy food encrusted stove
12- clean now revolting sink
13-take out trash
14-sweep kitchen floor
15- survey bathroom in dismay
16-consider having breakdown , contemplate drinking myself into oblivion
17-do neither and sigh resignedly
18 -wash bathroom sink
19- arm myself with toilet brush and soap in order to clean toilet(while gagging violently)
20- sort out the ridiculous amount of beauty products we have in shower stall
21- begin 'proper' work i.e writing articles , reading for arabic course etc.
22- realize that i havent made lunch
23- make some form of lunch (usually some sort of pasta a salad and kofta /escalope panee /something that can be defrosted and fried )
(excuse me for not being a cordon bleu chef!)
24-wash implements used for cooking
25- wash once again greasy food encrusted stove
26 -retreat to a darkened room where i can weep in a corner before the family arrives
27-warm pasta in microwave because it is now stone cold
28- after lunch/dinner wash dishes etc.
29- curse whoever decided to tile our kitchen floor with freaking beige tiles that show every single particle of dirt and grime and proceed to clean floor
30- finally am finished ! retire to bed with a good book of which i read about 10 sentences before totally zonking out .ake up disturbed in middle of night because i forgot to eitherturn offgas , set alarm or take washing off line
then there was that terrible tuesday when the cleaning lady came and my siter decided to throw a dinner party for her friends .
i had to dust , polish all my mothers antiques ,ornaments , television , sundry bookcases around the house , make sure the cleaning lady doesnt rob us , cook make frantic calls to my sister because some essential ingredient is missing , make pasta salad , fry samosas , make french bread (speacial request) , fry chicken and make other sundry salads then panic because i had nothing for the guests to drink , found lemons made lemonade .
im feeling frantic all over again just writing this
what a sad end to my bright feminist dreams
alas i have fallen prey to that terrible scrouge
domesticity!
for the past week i have been acting as surrogate mamma pour la famille because my perfect sometimes eerily like martha stewart mother had gone on a business trip .
suffice it to say i have developed a newfound respect for the creator of yellow kitchen gloves .
the amount of disgusting things one has to deal with on a daily basis to keep a house clean is disturbing .
just as my luck would have it my usually sloth like and constantly homebound sister had developed a new leaf and has started working part time in a nursery while taking an adavnced computer course at school so by the time she gets back home shes about as useful a bikini in the north pole .
a list of the things i had to do on a daily basis
1-wake up and quell the whinging creature in my head
2- taking washing off line
3- take out laundry from the night before to hang on line
4- wake sister and father
5-take a mallet to my sisters head so she'll actually wake up
6-avoid being pummeled to death by irritated sister
7- make coffee and tea for sister and father
8- after they leave tidy beds , pick up and fold sundry garments and generally sort rooms out
9- remove cups , overflowing ashtrays , bottles and other debris from living room
10- wash dishes and daydream about living on my own or with a compulsively clean roomate
11- clean greasy food encrusted stove
12- clean now revolting sink
13-take out trash
14-sweep kitchen floor
15- survey bathroom in dismay
16-consider having breakdown , contemplate drinking myself into oblivion
17-do neither and sigh resignedly
18 -wash bathroom sink
19- arm myself with toilet brush and soap in order to clean toilet(while gagging violently)
20- sort out the ridiculous amount of beauty products we have in shower stall
21- begin 'proper' work i.e writing articles , reading for arabic course etc.
22- realize that i havent made lunch
23- make some form of lunch (usually some sort of pasta a salad and kofta /escalope panee /something that can be defrosted and fried )
(excuse me for not being a cordon bleu chef!)
24-wash implements used for cooking
25- wash once again greasy food encrusted stove
26 -retreat to a darkened room where i can weep in a corner before the family arrives
27-warm pasta in microwave because it is now stone cold
28- after lunch/dinner wash dishes etc.
29- curse whoever decided to tile our kitchen floor with freaking beige tiles that show every single particle of dirt and grime and proceed to clean floor
30- finally am finished ! retire to bed with a good book of which i read about 10 sentences before totally zonking out .ake up disturbed in middle of night because i forgot to eitherturn offgas , set alarm or take washing off line
then there was that terrible tuesday when the cleaning lady came and my siter decided to throw a dinner party for her friends .
i had to dust , polish all my mothers antiques ,ornaments , television , sundry bookcases around the house , make sure the cleaning lady doesnt rob us , cook make frantic calls to my sister because some essential ingredient is missing , make pasta salad , fry samosas , make french bread (speacial request) , fry chicken and make other sundry salads then panic because i had nothing for the guests to drink , found lemons made lemonade .
im feeling frantic all over again just writing this
what a sad end to my bright feminist dreams
alas i have fallen prey to that terrible scrouge
domesticity!
Sunday, July 30, 2006
losing my religion
its times like these that make me want to give up not just on islam but organized religion in general . i'm so tired of the endless killing , the endless tears the endless misery . when will it stop? when nasrallah is dead ? according to the sandmonkey that doesnt mean the end of hizbuallah . when israel is scraped off the map ? that i think will never happen the israelis are too resilent .
funny that all this barbarity springs from religion ,
which is supposed to elevate the soul of man , to teach kindness and compassion and understanding . isn't religon about that ? isnt basically a moral code by which to live a decent and moral life ?
i no longer see any morality and to be frank decency is stone cold dead
i could never be an atheist as i do believe in the exsistence of some higher creator being . as it seems illogical that our twisted exsistence doesnt have some profounder purpose than fucking and murdering each other
at the moment agnosticism is begining to look very congenial
agnosticism is tolerant of others , no-one is an infidel /heathen doomed to the fiery brimstone scented bowels of hell
agnosticism leaves room to believe in a creator being and anything else in fact
agnosticism is intellectually honest - its main teachings are who knows? and its possible
tell me one evil thing done in the name of agnosticism ?
as for religon ....... countless
the spanish inquistion , the death of gandhi , sabra and shatila , the salem witch trials etc etc
and now lebanon .
this is a difficult time to believe but still im trying to cling to the tattered remants of my faith
on a lighter note if i go agnostic im not doomed if i have premarital sex !
and now tell me agnosticism is bad !
funny that all this barbarity springs from religion ,
which is supposed to elevate the soul of man , to teach kindness and compassion and understanding . isn't religon about that ? isnt basically a moral code by which to live a decent and moral life ?
i no longer see any morality and to be frank decency is stone cold dead
i could never be an atheist as i do believe in the exsistence of some higher creator being . as it seems illogical that our twisted exsistence doesnt have some profounder purpose than fucking and murdering each other
at the moment agnosticism is begining to look very congenial
agnosticism is tolerant of others , no-one is an infidel /heathen doomed to the fiery brimstone scented bowels of hell
agnosticism leaves room to believe in a creator being and anything else in fact
agnosticism is intellectually honest - its main teachings are who knows? and its possible
tell me one evil thing done in the name of agnosticism ?
as for religon ....... countless
the spanish inquistion , the death of gandhi , sabra and shatila , the salem witch trials etc etc
and now lebanon .
this is a difficult time to believe but still im trying to cling to the tattered remants of my faith
on a lighter note if i go agnostic im not doomed if i have premarital sex !
and now tell me agnosticism is bad !
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