And so it begins , my annual transformation into an innvoluntary nocturnal creature
I dont know why but every spring my body turns traitor and decides that sleep is for wimpy , cowed anatomies that are subject to the tyrannical whims of their owners . not my body , not my cells , not my bastard nervous system .No ,no they just happen to be bloody minded communists baying for my sanity ! I can just visualize my subversive cells meeting up in undisclosed , discreet locations (my apendix one supposes or a kidney) one them with a nice bushy karl marxian beard screaming "enough comrades ! we will stop working for this wretched tyrant Hebe , each doing the task he is alloted , cowed by the demoniac thought police . those barbarious neurons and for what? a bit of glucose ? a little water that we so sorely need to stay alive ! we must rebel ! rebel arrrrrgh.
and so they start employing devious guerilla tactics LIKE KEEPING ME AWAKE ALL BLOODY NIGHT ! well little bolshie cells you got your sodding way , I abdicate ! can I pleeasse go to bed now ?
yes I realize what I just wrote is
a)slightly unintelligible
b)completely mad
c) really not that funny
but nothing else is really helping , not litres of hot chamomile tea , not listening to harp music accompanied by sounds of babbling brooks ,not even reading James Joyce's ulyssess , the most dull and befuddling book ever written in the history of mankind
it still amazes me that that book was banned for a while for obscenity (apparently theres a scene where a character masturbates) I have come to believe this is something of literary myth , where the hell is that scene ?what obscenity? who actually has the mental strength to make it beyond the first few chapters . i honestly think that its deemed a modern classic solely because no-one wants to admit that either these were the ramblings of literary genius gone completly off his rocker and were in short complete crap , or that its actually an erudite exploration of the human psyche by a hyperintelligent man , and to confess that its completely incomprehnsible to mere mortals is basically a confession of criminal stupidity. well either way the only use i can see for it is an a cure for my horrific insomnia or to straighten a wonky table
well am still wide awake but for fear of driving you poor sods to my level of insantity i will go skip around a bit whilst reading ulyssess and hopefully will fall comatose to the floor out of a combination of exhaustion and mind numbing boredom
ah well since I won't be sleeping much at least I'll finally have time to do some blogging !
sweet dreams
and good morning !
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1 comment:
i have often thought the same thing about Ulysses...when i was in school, the fastest way to get to sleep was for me to read a case. try it?
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