20 things to do before turning 21

yes I was busy , yes I didn't blog I'm desperately sorry ( dunno why yet again) blah blah blah I'm so tedious aren't I? ( and no that's not a cheap ploy to make you I'm not , honest :) )
anyhow I'm turning 20 today (eeeek) which is both exciting and freaky and in celebration of how odd I'm feeling at the moment I wrote this rather umm unlikely list of things I plan to do before turning 21!

1-Get Joseph Fiennes and /or Romain Duris pregnant

2-Become professional burlesque dancer

3-Acquire chocolate factory

4-Acquire purple suit , mini top-hat with a tulle veil and singing koalas to work in chocolate factory (Oompa Loompas are so passé ) ooooh and Christian Laboutin boots

5-Have a statue of myself erected in a public square

6-Have statute pulled down a la saddam Hussein while hordes of koalas scream hooray
7-Become shaabi singer and sing a duet with Sha3bola

8-Invent fat free chocolate and win Nobel prize for it

9-Acquire pirate outfit ,a foul mouthed parrot and an evil pirate gang and storm kasr el Gomhouria

10-Acquire herd of goats , lederhosen and white haired grandpappy and immigrate to the Swiss Alps and live the Heidi life (this is if all my other plans fail)

11-Rule the universe for a day ( any more than that and I’d muck things up irreversibly)

12-Become virtuoso violinist (ha-ha possibly the most impossible one)

13-Write an Opera entitled “fein el akl ya welya” starring the fatafeat ant dude

14-Buy a haunted palace (I’d love to own the Winchester house)

15-Buy my father a Harley Davidson (I’m actually serious about this one)

16-Find the reincarnation of Marlon Brando and marry him ( this is assuming he didn’t come back as a man- eating Lion or an Oak tree )

17-Be declared poet laureate of an obscure country

18-Become glamorous socialite and have Candace Bushnell write a fictionalized account of my exploits which will later be turned into a series which will star Rachel Weisz

19-Become a vegan cobbler

20-Purchase obscene amount of shoes and become renown for it kinda like Imelda Marcos