the trials and tribulations of mademoiselle HH

Sunday, May 04, 2008

actual conversation

(scene , my sister R and I have just returned from supermarket , we start studying )

R: E7na gebna eh men el supermarket ?
H: what an odd question Eh ya binty do you have a two second memory ?
R: I forgot

God I love living with my sister , its delightfully weird

amusing thought

if I were to weigh the amount of things I have to study, I'd say (roughly) that I have to study around two kilos of legalties . Imagine that, bearing two kilos worth of knowledge in my wee little head , its certainly a mercy that knowledge has no physical weight . we'd all be walking around with heads the size of the Easter Island statues .

yes I have gone daft from lack of sleep

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

insomnia- random blatherings

And so it begins , my annual transformation into an innvoluntary nocturnal creature
I dont know why but every spring my body turns traitor and decides that sleep is for wimpy , cowed anatomies that are subject to the tyrannical whims of their owners . not my body , not my cells , not my bastard nervous system .No ,no they just happen to be bloody minded communists baying for my sanity ! I can just visualize my subversive cells meeting up in undisclosed , discreet locations (my apendix one supposes or a kidney) one them with a nice bushy karl marxian beard screaming "enough comrades ! we will stop working for this wretched tyrant Hebe , each doing the task he is alloted , cowed by the demoniac thought police . those barbarious neurons and for what? a bit of glucose ? a little water that we so sorely need to stay alive ! we must rebel ! rebel arrrrrgh.
and so they start employing devious guerilla tactics LIKE KEEPING ME AWAKE ALL BLOODY NIGHT ! well little bolshie cells you got your sodding way , I abdicate ! can I pleeasse go to bed now ?

yes I realize what I just wrote is

a)slightly unintelligible
b)completely mad
c) really not that funny

but nothing else is really helping , not litres of hot chamomile tea , not listening to harp music accompanied by sounds of babbling brooks ,not even reading James Joyce's ulyssess , the most dull and befuddling book ever written in the history of mankind
it still amazes me that that book was banned for a while for obscenity (apparently theres a scene where a character masturbates) I have come to believe this is something of literary myth , where the hell is that scene ?what obscenity? who actually has the mental strength to make it beyond the first few chapters . i honestly think that its deemed a modern classic solely because no-one wants to admit that either these were the ramblings of literary genius gone completly off his rocker and were in short complete crap , or that its actually an erudite exploration of the human psyche by a hyperintelligent man , and to confess that its completely incomprehnsible to mere mortals is basically a confession of criminal stupidity. well either way the only use i can see for it is an a cure for my horrific insomnia or to straighten a wonky table

well am still wide awake but for fear of driving you poor sods to my level of insantity i will go skip around a bit whilst reading ulyssess and hopefully will fall comatose to the floor out of a combination of exhaustion and mind numbing boredom
ah well since I won't be sleeping much at least I'll finally have time to do some blogging !


sweet dreams
and good morning !

Saturday, January 19, 2008

snippet 1

dreaming of sunlight
gasping for rain
caught in one season
one longs for the other again

Monday, December 10, 2007

about the whole constinency thing

the intention remains but i am horrendously , horrifically and disgustingly busy studying for "gasp" 7 subjects this term ! (wish me luck) so blogging will resume as soon as is humanly possible .... and a very happy eid and merry christmas to all

Sunday, November 18, 2007

on the occassion of my 19th birthday

On this day of 18 november 2007, I mademoiselle HH also known as hebe , being of relatively sound mind(excepting several occassions of insanity and inerbriation which will be blogged about at yawn inducing length) hereby swear to henceforth cease being a lazy plop of a human being and start blogging with a little more consistency , this I do solemnly swear. cross my heart, scouts honor , honest injun etc etc

witnessed by a random fly I've decided to call nebuchadnezzar and my sleeping grandmother wh0 half the time doesn't know what I'm gibbering on about

they have not signed for somewhat obvious reasons

HH

18-11-2007

incidentally I have no idea how to pronounce nebuchadnezzar which does not please my witness one whit

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

3amar ya masr

during this week i have seen
1- a long bearded mullah type in gallabeya riding a harley davidson
2- a taxi sporting a single ostrich plume in its baggage holder - a la cyrano de bergerac
3- a fellow on scooter with one shib-shibed foot apparently holding down the boot of a white ford fiesta , he looked very curiously like a dog peeing against a tree
4- in the middle of gameat el dowal street a donkey half keeled over , peeing while the fellow riding the caretta blithely examines his nails
5-el amn el markazy (the egyptian version of S.W.A.T) surrounding cairo university despite the lack of a demonstration

life is so sweetly surreal

Saturday, October 06, 2007

the gam3eet el qahira exberience

you know your'e in cairo university when :

1- you decide to go for an aimless amble , promptly get lost and navigate your way back to your modarag by trying to keep the infamous dome of the main building . its basically the lodestar of the entire university

2- the farash is your best friend . if there are books to be brought , burecratic procedures you can't be arsed to do or you have a terrible hankering for tea , he's the guy to go to. however make sure "te3ayedi 3ali" every once in a while , sweetening him up with cleopatra ciggies also does wonders

3- its probably the only university in the world with shoe shine chaps at every corner

4-your dining choices are somewhat limited . its either; koshary , foul (faculty of science), very dubious kebda and panee sandwhiches (law) or crepes (tegara)

5- beware of obese toothless men who offer to stand in line and pay your fees for you

6- the only protests are held by the muslim brotherhood

7- you get kicks by sneaking into other peoples lectures , causing a ruckus and getting kicked out by irate proffessors

8- you have to mentally prepare yourself for any burecratic procedures/paperwork at least a week in advance , also get the numbers of a psychiatrist and a decent masseuse . your going to need them pretty badly after getting it done

9- you realize that the cairo university employees are somewhat like the vogons in"the hitchikers guide to the galaxy" I find this to be a very apt description of them:
"They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public enquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters."

to be continued.......