Wednesday, August 27, 2008

pretty oh so pretty

if ever a nation took their horticulture seriously 'twas the dutch
look what some awfully clever dutch businessman came up with

and not just roses either but like a zillion other types of flower
check their site out. I have a sneaking suspicion that the rainbow effect is achieved through dye somehow , perhaps through splitting the stems possibly? anyhows I think they are most lovely

don't ever .....

attempt to dance on a treadmill a'la ok Go in order to annoy your younger sister , you'll only fall on the treadmill and skin your knees - and that my friends is freaking painful

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Au clair de Lune (shuffle tag)

Tagged by lovely Sou (tagged meself out of boredom)
Here are the rules:
1. Put your iTunes/music player on “Shuffle”.
2. For each question, press the “Next” button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT! After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do them themselves.

1.IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Gypsy by Suzanne Vega (hmm)

2.WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Venus in furs by the velvet underground (WHAT!!! crazy Ipod)(I do like strappy boots though!)
3.WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? bats mouth by bat for lashes (so I like looniness , well true)
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? thank god I'm pretty by Emilie Autumn (hahaha thats ridiculous)

5.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? predictions by suzanne vega (another hmm)
6.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? the chamber by the last shadow puppets (yikes!)
7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? the songs that we sing by Charlotte gainsbourg(kind of true)
8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Marlene on the wall by Suzanne Vega
9.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? l'excessive by Carla Bruni (quelle surprise !)
10.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? so long Marianne by JJ Cale

11.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Rose Red by Emilie Autumn (my sister would agree !)

12.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Jesus the mexican boy by Iron and wine (a little off the mark)
13.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Horrorshow by Bat for Lashes (God my Ipod is possessed!)

14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Beauty mark by Charlotte Gainsbourg (awww )
15. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Everything I cannot see by Charlotte Gainsbourg (wow!)
16.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? night time intermission by Charlotte Gainsbourg (not too far off )

17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?In my room by the last shadow puppets

18.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? I dont like you anymore by the last shadow puppets (what is up dudes ???)
19. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? au clair de lune by Debussy

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF? lemon incest by Serge Gainsbourg

I tag Mofa, Forsooth, That Guy, Zawaya el maraya and maxxed out

Monday, August 25, 2008

explanation of the last days of the bluechina acolyte

I thought it would be interesting to explain my poem to you Since this poem is so to speak a collage of historical incidents I thought I'd give a little background info to clarify things for you. (khalas ba2a the label of nerd/weirdo has becomed permanently affixed to my head )! enjoy !

1-blue china acolyte : in his earliest days at college wilde is reported to have said "I find it harder and harder every day to live up to my blue china." hence blue china acolyte

2- "The heart was meant to be broken" if memory serves this came from 'an ideal husband" not very sure though

3-“cupping his Egyptian cigarette” once upon a time ,in the 19th century Egypt produced the world’s finest cigarettes and Wilde being the refined man he was delighted in them . He once said of cigarettes “A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?” also check out this extraordinary short story by Kate Chopin

4- “a mad boy with a rose petal mouth”: here of course I’m referring to Lord Alfred Douglas “Bosie” the cause of Wilde’s down fall ,one of the letters used in the trial against Wilde was written to Bosie and ran thus “Your sonnet is quite lovely, and it is a marvel that those red rose-leaf lips of yours should have been made no less for music of song than for the madness of kisses. Your slim gilt soul walks between passion and poetry. I know Hyacinthus, whom Apollo loved so madly, was you in Greek days”

5-“A sighing love”- this is from Lord Alfred Douglas’s infamous poem “two loves”

6- “childrens kisses” Wilde had two sons , Vivian and Cyril whom he adored And who inspired his exquisite children’s stories which were collected in “a house of pomegranates” the worst thing Wilde experienced was loss of the right to see his children after his release from Reading Gaol

7- Amber scented champagne – I took this from "De Profundis” the 90 page letter he wrote to lord Alfred whilst in prison

8-'Who never ate his bread in sorrow, Who never spent the midnight hours Weeping and waiting for the morrow, - He knows you not, ye heavenly powers.' This was written by Goethe and often quoted to Oscar by his mother Lady Jane Wilde

9- “The wanderer he became” after his release from prison Wilde spent the last three years of his life in L’hotel d’alsace in Paris. He went under the assumed name of Sebastian Melmoth, after the famously Saint Sebastian and the devilish central character of Wilde's great-uncle Charles Robert Maturin's gothic novel Melmoth the Wanderer.

10- “duelling with wallpaper
he or it had to go!” Just a month before his death Wilde is quoted as saying, "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has got to go."

11-“a purple clad priest at his side” On his deathbed Wilde became a Catholic

12-“he had been killed
by the thing he loved
By each let this be heard
neither by sword nor kiss
but with a careless word”
This is an adaptation of Wildes famous poem ‘The Ballad of Reading Gaol”

The last days of the Blue china Acolyte

if you haven't noticed yet , I kinda have a thing for Oscar Wilde and since my Muse decided to get off her fat derriere recently and do some frolicking I found myself inspired to write this. I hope you don't find yourself puking excesively :) and yeah I do realise he actually died 108 years ago smart bums
Enjoy! (or not depending on your proclivities)


"the heart was made to be broken"
a clever man once said
cupping his Egyptian cigarette
as his own heart quietly bled
for a mad boy
with a rose petal mouth
who would watch
as for a sighing love
a dreamer was destroyed
deprived of
all that made him
childrens kisses
amber scented champagne
forsaken by Apollo
he fashioned Gods
of sorrow and of Pain
as he wept and moaned
over his chains
for the flaneur
who would never rise again

"'Who never ate his bread in sorrow,
Who never spent the midnight hours
Weeping and waiting for the morrow,
He knows you not, ye heavenly powers.'
so she often told him
the bravest of mothers
so at last
he took off the mask
from heaven mercy asked
and sang his last refrain
and so for him a new life began
and a new understanding of man

the wanderer he became
to escape his filthied fame
but it haunted him
that and newer pains
but still he laughed
still he smiled
whiled away the time
with brandy, boys
and sacre coeurs chimes

The end it came most slow
duelling with wallpaper
he or it had to go !
it was him alas
and well did he
this know
so he bid the world goodbye
a purple clad priest at his side
pressed his hand
and closed his eyes
at news of his death
the world both smiled
and cried

he had been killed
by the thing he loved
By each let this be heard
neither by sword nor kiss
but with a careless word
bid goodnight
the sweet prince
100 years in earth interred
he wrote the loveliest words
the loveliest I ever saw
the wisest I ever heard
for this I honour him
and shall never suffer that his name
by fools and prudes
ever be slurred

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Genpets are a hoax !

I can't believe it ..... check this out !

Beware the wolvog

I love Dystopian novels and one of the best I've ever read is Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake which discusses the dangers of genetic engineering espeacially when it comes to genitically modifying animals. The book featured strange hybrids like wolvogs" (hybrids between wolves and dogs), "rakunks" (raccoon and skunk), and "pigoons" (pig and baboon) and the even odder spoat (a goat and spider hybrid) The book is sold under the label of Science fiction Atwood prefers to label this work as "speculative fiction" it turns out she was justified as evinced by these creepy looking Genpets , I'd love to know what you all think about this , do you think that science can go too far? or is anything justified in the name of bettering the human lot ? would you ever consider buying a genpet?
we live in strange times indeed

Saturday, August 23, 2008

my constant prayer

ah! seigneur! donnez-moi la force et le courage - de contempler mon coeur et mon corps sans dégoût!

ah! lord! give me the force and courage - to contemplate my heart and my body without disgust!

Charles Baudelaire -les fleurs de mal

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

suprising and distressing things

Sei Shonagen's entry
Surprising and Distressing Things

1-While one is cleaning a decorative comb, something catches in the teeth and the comb breaks.

2-A carriage overturns. One would have imagined that such a solid, bulky object would remain forever on its wheels. It all seems like a dream - astonishing and senseless.

3-A child or a grownup blurts out something that is bound to make people uncomfortable.

4-All night long one has been waiting for a man who one thought was sure to arrive. At dawn, just when one has forgotten about him for a minute and dozed off, a crow caws loudly. One wakes with a start and sees that it is daytime - most astonishing.

5-One of the bowmen in an archery contests stands trembling for a long time before shooting: when finally he does release his arrow, it goes in the wrong direction.

Hebe's suprising and distressing things
1- when you realise that you are towering over your own mother and you could very easily pick her up . she is no longer that benevolent and at times terrifying giantess you always tried to please but a very human creature

2- when you open your handbag and discover that you've forgotten your mobile phone or purse , you always feel strangely naked.

3-when hail descends or a sandstorm occurs in a city , you realise regardless of all this concrete and metal you are still at the mercy of nature

4- when you attempt to look cool and end up tripping /dropping something and generally make an idiot of yourself

5- when you oversleep and wake up and realise that you're desperately horribly late for school/work or appointment

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Elegant things

Sei Shonagon's entry

Elegant things
1-A white coat worn over a violet waistcoat.
2-Duck Eggs.
3-Shaved Ice mixed with liana syrup and put in a new silver bowl.
4- A rosary of rock crystal.
5-Snow on wistaria or plum blossoms.
6-A pretty child eating strawberries.

Hebe's elegant things

1-silver cufflinks
2-an unusual Chignon
3-Cameo brooches
4- A pavlova meringue topped with fresh strawberries
5-Groppi's marron glace served on blue china
6- A handsome man in a well cut suit

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Sei Shonagon post No#1

one of my obsessions (and there are a great many)is Japanese culture ,this obsession originated with my father who would tell me stories as a child about Samurai espeacially the legendary Miyamoto Musashi up till now one of my favorite books is Eiji Yoshikwa's fictionalization of Musashi's life
at any rate I soon started reading more about Japan and it's culture and still do , one of my most recent reads was Sei Shonagon's pillow book . which was basically a random collection of things she found interesting, gossip , poetry and lists. It struck me with the freshness and vitality of it's style . it seemed to me that had she lived in the present day it's very likely she would have had a blog.So in honour of her I'm going to start a string of posts based on her pillow book entries, just for fun

the school of life (literally)

last year I read Alain de Bottons 'Essays on love" which was the most refreshing take on Love and philosophy , It's a dissection of a relationship both from a personal perspective and through deeply analytical philosophical's one of my very favorite books so I was rather charmed to learn of the school of life which
which he helped found. I think it's a fascinating venture espeacially the idea of the dinner parties they plan to have amongst strangers ,I mean how cool is that , I am so thoroughly sick of inane conversations , and imagine that no akward silences no dullness . I half wish I could draw up a conversation menu like that when I go dine with my relatives.
I'd prohibit talk/gossip about other distant relatives of whose exsistence I was never aware of , insincere fawning , covert matchmaking, backbiting and any kind of talk regarding Egyptian celebrities this might result in complete silence but my god would't that be the most perfect kind of bliss ?

Sunday, August 10, 2008

help needed

why on earth is the content thingymabobby at the bottom of the page , it refuses to budge , my god I am the most technologically inept adolescent on the face of the planet . Anyhows if anyone has any idea why my content bar or whatever its called is at the bottom of the page HELP !

random thought

Living in Egypt is like living with most beautiful slob in the world , sometimes she enthralls you with her lovely smile and charming ways and at other times she infuriates you with her sloveliness and disgusting habits. its a difficult and often stormy relationship but those rare moments of loveliness makes it all seem worthwhile

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

a fool reflects

I wrote this on the back of my shariaa law notes to make me feel less bad about being a complete dumbass ! not my best but I hope all my fellow toe stubbers , tumblers and general clots enjoy it !

endless are the reams of paper
I could fill with graceful curlicue
about the humilations I have suffered
and put myself through
oh numberless the situations
by others terribly misconstrued
my life has been a series
of embrassments and foolishness
from which I emerged
an interesting shade of cerise
ah well I've survived and had many a laugh
at my thwarted loves and sad social gaffes
I've often thought (and this gives me much peace)
much in life is finite
people rarely please
too often sucess is under a lease
but you can be always be sure
that the adventures of a fool
never cease !

Monday, August 04, 2008

morning misanthropy

God I'm in such a foul mood this morning , humanity at large is pissing me off big time and I just need to rant ,rave and froth at the mouth a bit (N.B my complaints are not in any way novel , also great deal of swearing )
I'm so sick of my mother feeling terrified everytime I go down to catch a cab IN A FUCKING T-SHIRT , she's scared that some idiot will give me shit or I'll have the misfortune of riding with some insanely sexually repressed driver or something along those lines. So every morning for the last few days I've had to change into a long sleeved top to set her heart at ease and I'm sick of having my exsitence dictated by fear and others stupidities in this manner and if I hear one more story from my friends about being groped on a bus or hassled in any way I'm going to go beserker.KEFAYA BA2A ERHAMONA !!!!!! also I'm tired of cars slowing down when I stand alone on a pavement and stupid looking buggers peering at me hopefully , no I am not a hooker so kindly piss off elsewhere you chumps . grrrr
I'm sick of the victories of the corrupt and the greedy , I still can't believe the Al-Salam 98 ferry case verdict it's a horrible twisted joke of a verdict and no langauge has enough invectives for Mamdouh Ismail .
come to think of it today I feel like the number of people I loathe is almost countless .
today I hate (in no particular order)
1- rude waiters /Shop assistants in general
2- shitty friends who never bother to call
3- the greedy monady by el Ahly club
4- every single autocratic statesman in the world
5- people who pick their noses in traffic (we can see you , you twats)
6- the entire staff of the Rock cafe in Nasr city (NEVER EVER GO THERE)
7- smart asses who give me driving advice whilst going the wrong direction in a one way street
8- every single man I have ever known who has patted my shoulder , smirked and said "lets just be friends"
9-CEO'S of companies selling beauty products , fashion designers , Hugh Hefner and Fashion Magazine editors
10- Every single human being who has ever purposefully tried to make me feel like shit

At the moment I feel like going on a shin/testicle kicking spree

I'm tired of being nice , kind and empathising with people , so few deserve it really

I could go on , but I think I've vented a few decades worth of bile and annoyance

if you've read this , thank you for enduring my pissiness